10 Tools For Restarting Your Life

Start small and don't put too much pressure on yourself.

For many, finding their way through the next year will feel like starting over. Not a completely horrible prospect, but the workload can be daunting. Here are some tips to help you create some new beginnings and make your life a little more emotionally fit in the process.

1. Starting over is not the same as recouping from a failure. It is a new beginning, and you have gained experience and knowledge to help you reach your goals. Reignite your passion by imagining what it will feel like when you achieve the desired result.
2. Moving through life is like climbing stairs. You go up a step or two, and then you level off and you may go down a step, but you are still higher than you were. That’s the process of life (and therapy) nothing is ever a straight shot. Have some patience with yourself and with your newfound direction.
3. You can create a whole new life if you want it. You just have to approach it in the right way. Sometimes little ideas can turn into big things. Visualize a positive outcome for your issue. Medical doctors recommend visualization to patients with chronic and potentially fatal illnesses. If it can help them, it can do the same for you. 
4. Endings are not necessarily bad things. Even if you lost your job, savings or home, what comes to you in the future may be better than what you had. Sometimes the phoenix has to burn, so it can rise again.
5. Starting over may feel scary, but it can be a cause for celebration. Think of it as exciting, and many of your anxious feelings will begin to fade. The truth is that anxiety and excitement feel exactly the same to the body. It’s our minds that make it scary versus exhilarating.
6. Remember that your future is not governed by your past. No matter what has happened in your life, you can find a way to make things a little better for yourself, and hopefully for those around you as well.
7. Having to start over is different from choosing to start over. For many whose lives are still in chaos because of the trying times we are in, starting over is not a choice. It can be hard to accept support from others. If you find it difficult to take that in, just promise yourself that you will return the favor and do something to “pay it forward” as soon as possible.
8. Healthy alternatives to negative lifestyle patterns abound. If you can’t stop a bad habit, start by cutting back. It’s okay to give yourself a little time to moderate or stop something that’s hurting you.
9. Starting over is about creating and reaching new goals. We are happiest when we’re moving toward a goal. It’s not all about the end result, in fact when you do achieve a dream you must find a new one as soon as possible in order to stay emotionally fit. Think about it this way, you can either be green and growing or ripe and rotting. Which do you prefer?
10. Starting over is about giving yourself a chance at real happiness. You will have to be brave and get good at learning new things, but how bad can that be? At the very worst, you will acquire the skills you need to start on the next project. 

Finding ways to begin anew will give you energy. The excitement of moving toward what you want will also bring you happiness. Just start small and don’t put too much pressure on yourself, you’ll get there sooner than you think.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201212/10-tools-restarting-your-life

6 Habits That Turn Dreams Into Reality

The secret of turning wishful thinking into a life of action and achievement.

When I was growing up, I wanted to be an entrepreneur. I discussed this aspiration with career advisors, family and friends. I outlined my plans in university student kitchens at three in the morning. It was the main conversation in the staff cafeteria of the large corporation I joined to tide me over until I launched my enterprise. I met up with an old friend whom I had not seen for fifteen years, and we chatted about old times. After the talk of foreign assignments, pension plans and leadership roles had died off, I mentioned that I was looking to start my own company. My friend took my hands in hers, looked me in the eye and said, “Ric, you´ve been talking about that dream for twenty years. Don´t you think it´s time to do something about it?” 

Walt Disney once said, “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” I finally turned my dream into a reality, not by wishing upon a star, but by converting it into a concrete vision. Today, I own my own leadership development company.

Dreams and visions are quite different.

 
 Dreams are…                                               Visions are…

Inward looking Ephemeral Aspirational

Outward looking Enduring Intentional

A dream is something, a vision does something; a dream is a place to be, a vision is a place to go. A vision, in other words, is more structured, intentional, enduring and rooted in daily living than mere wishful thinking.

Related: Richard Branson: The Key to Success Is Intention

In his seminal text, The Path of Least Resistance, Robert Fritz describes a vision as a hybrid between future state (the result you want to create) and current reality (the starting point). Fritz argues there is an inherent tension between these two states that can help you “organize your actions, focus your values, and clearly see what is relevant in current reality.”

Moving from one to the other. 

And herein lies the secret of turning ephemeral dreams into tangible outcomes, of launching that company that's been on the bucket list for decades, or publishing that novel that´s been languishing in the bottom drawer since the dawn of time -- it´s being able to structure the dream into something that inspires action and momentum.

Here are six habits that can help turn dreams into tangible outcomes:

1. Materialize your dream using visualization. 

Visualization, or what Shakti Gowain calls ‘Creative visualization’ in her book of the same title, is a technique in creating what you want from life using the power of imagination. Using some common visualization techniques can help participants convert their dreams into future possibilities. Sportsmen and women, for example, use visualization to inspire them toward excellence and success in competitive events. Visualization techniques are also widely used in business contexts for people to create goals and aspirations for themselves.

Related: 4 Visualization Techniques That Can Propel Your Success

2. Prioritize your dreams.

One of the habits in Covey´s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, is to begin with the end in mind. Having a clear idea of what you want to achieve and being able to prioritize sundry aspirations into a single sustainable “highest goal,” as Michael Ray terms it, is a way of beginning to work strategically with your dreams. Goals should have a degree of tension --not too removed from current reality (which will make them impossible to achieve), neither should they be easily attainable. Consider an elastic band. A slack elastic band has no tension. An overstretched elastic band can snap. Fixing a goal which is challenging, but not impossible, motivates us to work toward our vision. Fritz says in Creating, “In fire building, a log on top of the pile will drive the flames upward. In the creative process, a place that is bigger and higher than where you have gone so far can increase momentum, energy and creative power.” 

3. Set key milestones. 

Warren Bennis once said, “Mountain climbers don’t start climbing from the bottom of the mountain. They look at where they want to go and work backward to where they’re starting from.” It is the same for goal setting -- when you begin with the end in mind and set an action plan, you can begin to work backwards and set interim goals which advance you toward your vision. Achieving things in small incremental steps has great power. Professor Stephen Morris posited a theory that if dominoes were lined up starting with five millimeters and increasing in size by one and half times, it will take just 29 dominoes to knock over the Empire State Building. Best-selling author, Ramit Sethi,applies this principle to goal setting in his domino strategy which advocates starting small and creating momentum through incremental steps.

Related: How Marking Milestones Boosts Employee Productivity

4. Monitor progress. 

One of the benefits of a structured approach to goal and vision setting is that individuals can clearly see how each action and effort propels them toward their highest goal. This helps build momentum and motivation. Dreams, on the other hand, are wispy by nature and it can be baffling to know how to get a handle on them.

5. Enlist support.

Dreams that are not anchored in reality and lack structure or outcome can be crushed by “dream stealers.” In his poem, "The Cloths of Heaven," WB Yeats writes: "I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams."

A realistic, goal-orientated vision withstands all these negative forces and increases the likelihood of people sharing their vision. In his book Synchronicity, Joe Jaworski explores the positive outcomes of openly sharing structured goals and visions -- people begin to understand your aspirations and priorities and how they can contribute to your success.

6. Know when to give up.

I know we are taught through motivational stories that we can achieve whatever we put our minds to and make our dreams come true; but as Robert Fritz says, goal attainment is linked to current reality. Give up on those unrealistic dreams that suck up your energy and creativity and set achievable aspirations -- otherwise that elastic band will keep snapping in your face.

We should never stop dreaming; after all, our dreams are what makes us human. They shape and guide us. But there is a world of difference between being a dreamer and transitioning your dreams into something tangible. This ability to build personal momentum and achieve realistic objectives is the cornerstone of self-mastery, and every effective entrepreneur that I have ever met gets this right.

Source: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/284511

5 Brain Hacks to Boost Your Motivation

To procrastinate is human. To beat procrastination is to be an entrepreneur.

You sit down at your computer with every intention of working on your next project or task, then procrastination sets in. Two hours later, you realize you still haven’t begun the task in earnest. Why is it so easy to shrug something off, even when you know the job must get done?

Research shows that our brains are wired to have two types of motivation. We are either driven by internal (or intrinsic) motivation to achieve a goal, which is when we do something because it is personally rewarding. Or we are driven by external (or extrinsic) motivation, which is when we do something to earn a reward or avoid punishment.

Each type of motivation can be effective. Internal motivation is thought to work best in the long run, but external motivation can be a useful tool in some cases, such as prompting you to complete a task or assignment that doesn’t internally interest you.

The secret is knowing how to tap into both types of motivations to overcome procrastination and be more proactive. To help you do that, here are 5 brain hacks to boost motivation and stay productive, even when distractions abound.

1. Tap into your bigger purpose.

When you find your motivation is lacking, try focusing on the purpose behind what you are doing or on how it plays into the larger goal of what you want to accomplish.

Focusing on the bigger goal gives you the feeling of working on something greater and being part of something bigger than yourself. It gives deeper meaning to the objective you seek or the project you are putting long hours into.

For instance, try thinking about how what you're doing is adding value to your customers and their lives, or about how your business is impacting the world (even in small ways). When you consider the larger effects of what you or your team is doing, you'll feel more connected to the whole and will be more motivated to do your part.

Related: 6 Habits That Turn Dreams Into Reality

2. Don’t over think it.

Overthinkers complicate an easy task by anticipating unlikely problems. When you over think a project you are working on, it creates more stress and pressure. Ultimately, it obstructs your motivation.

Research has shown that chronic stress and anxiety can actually shrink your brain. A relaxed mind is better able to focus and solve problems.

To counter a tendency to over think a problem, make sure to keep your goals simple and small. This will break your objectives into more manageable chunks. Focus on accomplishing each step. This in turn creates motivation, because you see yourself moving forward and accomplishing your goals.

Related: How I Decreased My Weekly Office Hours From 40-plus to Less Than 8

3. Overcome mental blocks.

Nothing is quite as de-motivating as a mental block that feels like glue poured into your brain. Your creative process feels locked up and nothing seems to work right.

Becoming stuck is often a symptom you're caught in a negative thought loop. You tell yourself: “What’s the answer to this problem? What should I do? I should know this!” Round and round you go, and the more pressure you put on yourself, the more stuck you become.

To unstick yourself, start by reasking the question or reframing it from a different perspective. Take a deep breath, relax and allow your subconscious to find the answer. This is your “ah-ha” moment.

Related Book: Think Big, Act Bigger: The Rewards of Being Relentless by Jeffrey Hayzlett

4. Counter negative perceptions.

Observe how you feel as you begin a task. Are you dreading the assignment? Are you anticipating it will be tedious or difficult to accomplish? That mindset will stymie your motivation and sap your inspiration before you even start.

You can change negative perceptions, just as you can train your mind to detoxify bad memories. To weaken a pessimistic perception of something, think about the task and bring the memory of doing it into your mind.

Imagine the memory getting smaller and dimmer, like you’re watching a tiny black-and-white TV. Now add new details to the memory that change it. Make it fun. Make it silly. Make it seem less threatening. Imagine being engaged with and enjoying the work. 

Do this five to 10 times and you’ll discover your perception has changed. The unpleasant memory no longer has the same sting.

Related: 10 Bad Habits You Must Eliminate From Your Daily Routine

5. Strengthen your good memories.

Another way to tap into your natural motivation is to strengthen those memories where you are succeeding and accomplishing your goals. By doing this, you can enhance and encourage your motivation and inspiration.

To do this, recall as vividly as you can a fulfilling memory of succeeding or accomplishing your goals. Imagine this memory as if it were being projected on a huge IMAX screen.

Make the memory bright and loud. Now increase the positive feelings that you experienced, just like turning up a dial.

Do this 5 or 10 times, and you'll discover that what was once just a positive memory is now a driving motivation. The more you experience the memory, the more you'll want to relive it and make it real again.

Source: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/286021