11 Things Divorce Lawyers Say You Should Never Do

When you're getting divorced, it can be hard to prevent anger, fear, or grief from taking hold. But keeping your cool (at least most of the time) is the best way to ensure that the proceedings go as smoothly as possible. "Divorce should be more of a business transaction than an emotional one," says Linda A. Kerns, a divorce attorney who practices in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. "The more emotional you are, the less likely you are to make reasonable, sound decisions." 

Keeping that in mind, here are 11 things divorce lawyers warn their clients against doing.

Don't expect to come away with a windfall.

"One of the biggest mistakes I see people make in divorce cases is going in with unrealistic expectations," says Chloe Wolman, JD, a lawyer with Davies Wegner Law in Los Angeles. You and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse will have to start supporting two households on the same income that used to support one—which means you won't get to keep the house and the cars and all the accounts. "If you're the breadwinner spouse, you'll probably find yourself paying child/spousal support. If you're the lower-earning spouse, be prepared to learn that support is much less than you expected," says Wolman.

Don't try to hide money.

Hiding assets in an attempt to shield them from your spouse is a bad idea. "Don't move money out of accounts once the divorce action has started," says Shaolaine Loving, an attorney based in Las Vegas. "You can be held in contempt of court and sanctioned." Plus, in some states, like California, an Automatic Temporary Restraining Order (ATRO) goes into effect as soon as you file for divorce. "It means you can't suddenly cash out your 401(k) or rack up a huge credit card debt. You can't sell the house or liquidate your accounts," says Wolman.

Don't keep adding money to a joint account.

While trying to hide money is a no-no, there's no reason to continue adding to the communal pot. If you live in a community property state (like California), you can open a separate bank account and start putting your monthly paycheck in that, says Wolman. "Under California law, once you separate, everything you earn is your own property. There are reasons why that money may not be yours free and clear, but it's smart to start establishing your life as single person early on," says Wolman.

Don't do things out of spite.

No matter how angry you are right now, setting your husband's beloved golf clubs out in the rain to rust is not a good move. You end up looking bitter and irrational, which could temper the judge's opinion, says Loving.

Don't compare divorces.

Your divorce will not be the same as your neighbor's, friend's, or cousin's. Every case is specific, and it's worth noting that the laws are different in each state. "For example, in Pennsylvania, we have a bright line rule that child support ends when a child graduates from high school. In New Jersey, we do not," explains Kerns. "So if you are in Pennsylvania, expecting a court to order child support for college-age children is a nonstarter."

Don't expect to share the pet.

"Virtually all judges will award the pet to one person," says Kerns, because in most states, pets are considered property. Who gets to keep Fluffy? The person who adopted her, takes her to the vet, and cares for her on a daily basis will likely be favoured.

Don't surprise your spouse by serving him in public.

It might seem like the next-best thing to recording your own revenge song and airing it on the radio, but it can backfire. "When a party is surprised by the divorce filing, he may take a stance to not negotiate because he was served [in a way] that may have greatly embarrassed him," says Pamela Williams Kelly, a lawyer based in Memphis. "Advance knowledge and communication can help things go smoother."

Don't fight over things you don't care about.

Aunt Elma's china collection? The boat you never use? "Things backfire when parties look at every item, every decision, as a win for one or the other," says Kelly. Instead, focus on what's important. Full custody of the kids? Getting the house that belonged to your grandma? Keep your eyes on a big prize and don't sweat the small stuff.

Don't make the kids pawns.

Divorce is hard enough on children without the parents pushing them into a tug-of-war over who they love more. "Continue to support them emotionally and financially, and love them unconditionally," says Kelly. "They will respond to the divorce only as well as the parents do."

Don't wait for your big day in court.

"Trial is very expensive, and few people end up happy when they're paying their divorce lawyer more than they will get from the divorce," says Wolman. She says you're usually better off settling out of court, especially if you don't have children or a house or haven't been married very long.

"I've seen many cases that could have been settled easily but for an overly aggressive opposing counsel who just wanted to bring in a huge paycheck," says Wolman. Avoid this problem by getting attorney recommendations from people you trust and/or thoroughly vetting anyone you're considering hiring.

Don't rule out mediators.

Although a good lawyer who moves your case along quickly shouldn't be too expensive, there's a chance you might not need an attorney at all. "It's possible to hire a mediator who helps both spouses reach and draft an agreement," says Elinor Robin, PhD, a Florida Supreme Court–certified mediator and mediation trainer. "This option works well for those who are reasonably well informed about their finances," and it can save time, money, and stress.

Source: https://www.prevention.com/sex/11-things-divorce-lawyers-say-you-should-never-do

What Smart Women Do After Divorce

“Why do some women do well after divorce, while others get stuck?” a divorcing client asked me, confronting her worries head on. “I want to be happy again. I want to rely on myself and not be afraid of the future. I can’t make it without his support, but it’s tough being tied together for so many years through the kids and the money.”

Indeed, financial entanglement is a double-edged sword. Moving on is much harder for women (and men) who remain connected via a custody share, child support or alimony. How do you get closure when the contact and financial dependency continue? What’s the key to regaining your independence and confidence?

My answer is something most people already know, but nonetheless is the greatest challenge of divorce: You commit to being happy or commit to being right. The smartest women I know choose happiness, and this has been the key to rebuilding their life. I’ve observed five actions and attitudes these women adopted that made the difference in their recovery process. It’s never too late to start.

#1: No More “Woe Is Me” (ideally after the first year) 

Smart women make that mental shift from victim to survivor, and they take the necessary steps to get there fully.

By far the most important (and most difficult) step is to impose a statute of limitations on feeling sorry for yourself, even if the conflict is ongoing. The first year, it’s normal to dwell on the loss, to cry, grieve, vent to your family and friends about every last detail. But after that, even though you’re still raw, it’s important you make a deliberate mind shift from seeing yourself as a victim. Regardless of what your husband did or is still doing, you don’t want to make the pain of your divorce your identity and your calling card.

Your negative feelings won’t disappear miraculously, and of course this isn’t a one-time mind shift. Sadness and despair roll in when you least expect it. You’re not unusual (nor should you be embarrassed) if you need antidepressants for some period of time to get unstuck. Many women also find it beneficial to examine their feelings in a therapeutic setting, such as private therapy, a divorce support group, or counseling services from their church/synagogue. 

Friends can be a great resource, but don’t use them only as a sounding board for self-pity. If you’re hanging around a friend — divorced or otherwise — who spends her time man-bashing and telling you how you’ve been screwed, that friendship is keeping you stuck. Spend time (and connect online) with women who are upbeat and can be role models for moving forward with strength and optimism. Two blogs I like, created by women who did something constructive to deal with their divorce, are Chick Chain Walking Club and One Mom’s Battle. 

One client summed up her recovery process: “I developed the strength and discipline to give my victim feelings a shelf life ... I’d say to myself, ‘I get tonight to feel sad and then tomorrow it’s back to business.’” 

An added benefit of taking this step is you’ll be a role model for your children, especially a daughter, about how to recover from a life crisis.

#2: Accept the Economic Reality of Divorce

The smartest women come to terms with the reduced lifestyle they have after divorce. They reaffirm their priorities or commit to changing their lifestyle. They do not rely on their ex-husband as their long-term financial solution, nor do they see “finding another man” as the solution.

Unless you’re wealthy or a movie star, your economic level will decrease as a result of divorce. The same income that used to run one household is now running two. Women often don’t get paid the same as men for comparable work, and women’s careers are impacted by choosing to raise children — but these are facts, but not obstacles to happiness. Smart women deal with these realities in one of two ways: 

• They accept this reduction in lifestyle. Their joy comes from other things, like their children and the opportunity to be an involved parent or appreciation of their job and the flexibility it affords them even if it doesn’t pay as well as a high-paying career.

• If/when the timing is right, they make the decision to increase their earnings through their own means, such as a better job, increased hours, or additional education and training.

Either of these choices leads to greater peace and self-confidence.

#3: Develop a 10-Year Financial Plan 

Smart women take charge of their finances during and after divorce. They hire a financial planner or an accountant to review and organize their finances and map out spending and goals for the next decade. Although daunting at first, this step is immensely empowering.

Divorce may be the first time you’ve managed the family finances and planned for the future. Although it feels overwhelming, don’t stick your head in the sand with the naive hope that you’ll be able to make it forever on what you’re getting in support and assets (or that you’ll meet someone who will take care of you). 

First, educate yourself about financial planning through a book, seminar, or online resource. Second, find an expert (an accountant or financial planner) with whom you can review your finances and spending. (I strongly suggest you choose an expert who charges by the hour instead of on a commission basis.)

Looking at the economic reality is a wake-up call for most women. One client said after her meeting, “I quickly saw that I need to be much more thoughtful about how I use my assets and how I spend what I am getting in support. I’m now focused on my short-term goals — reducing my spending and finding ways to supplement my income — and my long-term goals of getting the kids through college and saving enough to have a dignified life in later years. I feel more in charge of my future and less anxious as a result.”

# 4: Repeat After Me: “I Cannot Change My Ex”

Smart women recognize they can’t change their ex-husband. They pick their battles, they let go of issues that don’t really matter or can’t be changed, and they accept with grace and maturity the general unpleasantness of an ongoing custody share — knowing this is just the reality of divorce.

It’s normal to want to have a say in how your ex behaves — particularly related to the kids. But save yourself the struggle. In a strange way, this step is about taking control of your inner life by letting go of outside control.

Sharing custody involves a lot of frustrations. The most common ones I hear from women are: he cancels or is late; he feeds the kids junk food; there are no limits at his house on TV, video games or computer; he buys them toys/electronics you said no to, instead of buying the shoes and school clothes they need; he gripes about expenditures for the kids’ extracurricular; he lets them stay up past their bedtime; he doesn’t return their clothing or returns everything dirty; he doesn’t make the kids do chores, so they complain when you enforce this rule at your house; he has joint custody but you still have to take the lead on doctor and dentist appointments, school, homework, extracurricular activities and sports.

Is this behavior fair or considerate? No. Is it worth getting upset over? No. Unless he is abusing the kids or repeatedly not showing up, you can’t generally control these kinds of actions. It’s a costly endeavor to try.

I’m not saying smart women allow themselves to be doormats — they definitely don’t. Sometimes you have to put on the business hat and confront an issue with your ex. Sometimes legal action is required. Be sure the issue warrants it and has a good probability of resulting in change. And work to let go of the rest. 

#5: Focus on the Future, Commit to Growth and Introspection, And
Build a Relationship with Yourself

Smart women channel their energies post-divorce into examining their life, their goals, their mistakes and how they can learn from the past. Instead of jumping into another serious relationship (or spending their time complaining about their ex), they focus on their own life issues. They redefine their priorities and discover what’s meaningful to them. They mature fully into themselves as women whose identity is not tied to the role of mother or wife.

We’ve seen this or been there ourselves — how men and women “lose themselves” in marriage. For many women, their identity becomes tied to their husband or children early on, and so when the marriage ends and these roles are lost or diminished, the woman feels unsure of who she is. This is one reason divorce can be a real moment of crisis.

The smartest women I’ve observed use their divorce as an opportunity for growth and maturity. They take inventory of their life, mistakes and all, and devote time and energy to discovering who they are and what they want for their future. This process takes time, patience and dedication, but in the end, these women are able to put their divorce behind them. They go on to be centered, stable, self-assured, capable women who find the happiness they felt they had lost. In fact, when I asked these women if they could turn back the clock and stay married, the answer was overwhelmingly a heartfelt “no” — they would never go back, even with all of the known challenges. 

What would be on your list for recovery?

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alison-patton/what-smart-women-do-after_b_1307356.html

How to Handle a Toxic Divorce

When an ex puts your emotional, physical, or financial wellbeing at risk.

Most divorces begin with hurt. Both parties may point the finger at the other person for the demise of the marriage. Accusations of infidelity, mismanagement of money or intrusion of in-laws are relatively common. As the divorce process begins, there may be animosity and heated discussions as decisions regarding the division of property, bank accounts, child visitation and custody arrangements are being made. Over time, people typically adjust to their new situation and the animosity diminishes. Even if one or both parties claim they don’t like each other, attempts are made to establish a civil way to communicate with one another, especially if there are children involved. Sometimes, divorced couples establish a “new” relationship and a friendship develops.

A toxic divorce, however, is a completely different scenario. Many courts define it as a “high conflict divorce” where each party escalates the contention. The toxic divorce, as I define it, is when one party wants to dissolve the marriage in a more equitable way while the other person not only refuses to cooperate, but they create a consistent string of chaos and ill will. Toxic behaviors may include stalking, harassment, threats made to one’s physical safety and health, hiding marital assets, sullying a person’s reputation, damaging property, and alienating children from the targeted parent.

Toxic divorces tend to last longer than a typical divorce; some as long as eight to ten years as one person continues to block the divorce progress at every turn. As the targeted partner tries to develop a new life, the former partner will often escalate the contention and extend the toxicity to the target’s new friends, a love interest, family members or employers.

The first line of defense in navigating around a toxic divorce is finding an attorney whose definition of a toxic divorce includes predicting the possible extreme behavior that can be exhibited by the warring partner. These behaviors may include refusing to pay child support, violating child custody or visitation, attempts to destroy the reputation of the targeted spouse with their friends, family, and employers and to alienate the children. It’s critical that the targeted partner’s attorney has the skill-set to mitigate much of these behaviors by defining a very specific settlement written into the divorce decree. The items in the decree such as child custody/visitation, division of property, and child support/alimony must be defined with great detail. For example, a visitation schedule that reads, “The children are to visit with the father (or mother) every other Friday for the weekend” may work for most of the divorced population whose efforts are to protect the health and well-being of the children. However, a statement like this will be a nightmare for the targeted parent. A person whose mission is to be contentious will likely bring the children home at 11:59 p.m. on Sunday nights. Although bringing the children home at this time may fall within the guidelines of the agreement, the action to bring children home late on a school night makes it evident that the intentions are to upset the targeted parent.

To avoid these potential situations, a more specific statement such as, “The father (or mother) is to pick up the children every other Friday, beginning on (the first date) at 4:30 p.m. at (named location). The father (or mother) is to return the children to the mother (or father) (named location) the Sunday of each of his/her weekend no later than 6:00 p.m. (EST).

Additionally, I strongly suggest that someone going through a toxic divorce secure a court appointed judge for their case. Since toxic divorces typically spend a great deal of time in court, a judge who is familiar with the case can make better decisions regarding the case and impose sanctions/punishments, if necessary. If a judge determines that one of the parties is creating a long-term unrelenting toxic situation, the judge has the power to take drastic measures to diffuse the contention. For example, if a spouse refuses to pay child support or reduces it without court approval, a judge can take action by writing a court order to have the monies taken out of the person’s salary to be paid directly to the recipient.

Another important step to mitigate a toxic divorce is the use of trustees. Trustees are attorneys that help you dissolve marital assets such as cash, real estate, cars, boats, art, vacation homes, pensions, retirement accounts or jewelry. Expecting the contentious spouse to be “fair,” while selling or re-appointing marital assets, is unrealistic so all property must be handled by a third party. Trustees will itemize everything and decide how they are to be divided, where and when.

A contentious unrelenting divorce will wreak havoc on one’s physical and emotional health so it is imperative to assure that self-care is a priority. It is common for people to place their children’s needs, their jobs and household responsibilities above their own health. I believe it is essential to carve out specific time each day to refresh and nourish oneself. This may be achieved through physical activity or quiet meditation. Whatever the preferred modality for rejuvenation, it must be consistent so that one has the emotional and physical strength to effectively circumvent the constant and escalated conflicts.

It is essential to have a strong support system, even if that is only two or three people. These should be people who are trusted and empathetic to what is going on. It’s a good idea to have a “check-in” system with one or two people where a text, email or phone call is made every day to assure that the targeted spouse is safe. This is especially necessary if there has been physical violence in the past. If there have been threats of or actual physical violence, a report should be made to the police and a protective order may be put into effect. Protective orders set boundaries that keep the offender a specified distance from their target. Protective orders are very serious and violations of them may result in jail time.

A toxic divorce is very challenging and will push the targeted individual to exhaustion. A targeted person needs to remember that they cannot change the behavior of the person who has made it their main objective to create chaos for the target. The only way to effectively diminish the impact of the toxic divorce is to limit one’s response to their antics and maintain as much emotional composure as possible. Toxic divorces are overwhelming so it is better to take each day one at a time, each step one at a time.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-truth-about-exercise-addiction/201707/how-handle-toxic-divorce

So long Shirley Valentine, it's the turn of men to divorce

So long Shirley Valentine, it’s the turn of the men.

The phenomenon of older women ditching their husbands in mid-life, which inspired the tale of a middle-aged woman who finds new love on a Greek island, has been turned on its head.

New figures show that men are driving mid-life divorce as their earnings make them more attractive to younger women.

The proportion of so-called "silver splitters" who end their marriages in their 50s and 60s has increased.

One report, by think tank the International Longevity Centre, found that from 1990 to 2012, the number of over-60s getting divorced rose by over 85 per cent.

Now divorce experts have suggested that men could be driving this pattern as they reach their peak earning power and women worry about the financial implications of splitting up.

In every age group until 45, more women are divorcing than men. But the pattern changes in over-45s, when men overtake women.

For those aged over 60, 9,443 men divorced compared to 5,783 women. Older men are now divorcing in greater numbers, while women's average age has remained static.

The ONS said: "In 2014, the number of divorces was highest among men aged 45 to 49 and women aged 40 to 44.

"This represents a change for men, since between 2005 and 2013, divorces were highest among men aged 40 to 44."

Ellen Walker, a solicitor at Hall Brown Family Law, said increasing financial independence and concerns about the well-being of children meant younger women were more inclined to exit troubled marriages than men of the same age.

Younger female clients often want to minimise the distress caused to children still at home who witness domestic disputes.

However, the picture reversed as husbands’ earnings reached their peak and children left home. In its report, the ILC warned that growing mid-life divorce could have a serious effect on women's finances, as they were likely to earn less and have a smaller pension.

It said that divorce "may lead to financial difficulties, especially for women who may have been stay at home mums who do not have much by way of long-term savings of their own."
It added: "While rising labour force participation has helped to reduce the financial dependence of women on their spouse, the story is complicated with evidence of a continuing gender divide between men and women in terms of pay, particularly at older ages, and a low proportion of women saving for retirement."

Last year TUC analysis found that the gender pay gap was widest between men and women in their 50s, with women of this age group earning £8,504 less a year than men on average.

Previous analysis has also suggested that men reach the peak of their earning power in their early 50s. Ms Walker said that middle-aged women were now more likely to try to keep troubled marriages going because of these money worries.

She said: “There is a stark difference from the mid-forties onwards. With children grown and parental responsibilities seemingly discharged, it is men who are far more likely to lead the divorce process.

“In our experience, this often coincides with the point at which men reach their peak earning potential and, therefore, the possibility of being able to afford to start a new life.

“That increasing income and seniority at work can also increase their appeal to the opposite sex, including among younger women, perhaps placing troubled relationships even further in peril.”

According to the ONS, the difference is also partly explained by the traditional age disparity between couples. It said: "More women than men divorced below the age of 45; at older ages more men than women divorced.

"This pattern reflects the fact that on average men marry women who are younger than themselves."

A breakdown of who petitioned for divorce by age is not available, but the figures do suggest that fewer women asking for divorce is the main driver of a declining divorce rate.

ONS figures show that the overall number of women petitioning and being granted a divorce tumbled from 105,177 in 2004 to 69,803 in 2014, while figures for men fell by just 6,000, from 47,580 to 41,364. During the same period, the overall number of divorces granted fell from 152,923 to 111,169.

Source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/27/longshirleyvalentine-turn-men-divorce/

Financial planning in divorce

We explain the options available when splitting your assets

Divorce is a highly stressful time when emotional pressures are compounded by difficult financial decisions that can have implications for many years to come. We’ve spoken to the experts to find out what you need to consider when dividing up your home, pensions and investments.

The family home

Your house is likely to be your most significant asset and deciding what to do with it can be challenging. Couples who want a fresh start often choose to sell the home, split the proceeds and use this money to buy new properties.

James Corcoran, a financial planner at 1825, Standard Life’s financial planning arm, says issues can arise if the proceeds aren’t sufficient for both parties to buy properties that meet their needs. This is particularly a problem if either party is unable to secure a mortgage such as when there is a spouse that doesn’t work and/or they can’t afford to pay separate housing bills.

‘This has become more of an issue in recent years post the financial crash as mortgage lending criteria has severely tightened,’ says Corcoran.

Another option is for one party to retain the family home – particularly if children live there – while the other takes a bigger proportion of the other assets.

The courts used to decide that the woman and her children would stay in the home while the husband took out a mortgage on a property elsewhere. Following the Mortgage Market Review, which introduced very strict ‘affordability’ criteria, it isn’t as straightforward.

‘If the husband is asked to pay maintenance their ability to buy a new place is curtailed. The wife might have to accept a smaller chunk of the house or less maintenance,’ says Kay Ingram, a director at national advice group LEBC.

It’s also possible for one party to buy out the other party’s share, which could necessitate a new mortgage.

Investments

In England and Wales investments are usually split 50/50, whereas in Scotland the courts look at the assets that were acquired during the marriage.

Corcoran says when couples are dividing up different types of assets they need to consider access to funds, charges and tax implications. All investments are treated differently for tax and need to be reviewed to ensure they’re still appropriate. For example, unit trusts and shares are liable to capital gains tax on encashment, whereas encashing investment bonds can result in additional income tax.

‘Complicating factors often come into play – for instance let’s say one party has an ISA and the other party has a drawdown pension, both worth £100,000 each,’ says Corcoran. ‘You would think they would be worth the same and cancel each other out, however when dividing up assets for divorce the ISA may be deemed to be worth more. Any withdrawals would be tax-free, whereas any income over and above the pension commencement lump sum from the drawdown would be taxable. All these issues need to be considered carefully.’

Divorce proceedings themselves could decimate the level of your investments and pensions, which could throw your financial plan completely off track. Patrick Connolly, certified financial planner at Chase de Vere, says this will be most problematic for older people who have less time to make up any shortfalls.

‘Following divorce, people should take an entirely fresh look at their finances,’ says Connolly. ‘They need to review what assets they still have, their new level of disposable income and then what steps they need to take to get their financial planning arrangements back on track. In many situations this can be a long and painful process.’

LEBC’s Kay Ingram says it’s extremely important to fully disclose all your assets during divorce proceedings – otherwise you’ll be held in contempt of court and could face jail. The courts will also look less favourably on you when deciding the settlement if they discover you withheld information.

Pensions

There are several ways in which pensions can be split at divorce, but the three most common are offsetting, earmarking and sharing.

Pension offsetting is where the value of your pensions is offset against other assets that you own. For example, in exchange for keeping your pensions, your ex-partner could get a larger share of the family home or share portfolio.

The advantage of offsetting is its simplicity, but there’s a danger that if a non-working spouse receives more of the property and less of the pension they could end up with no funds to live off.

Pension earmarking is an agreement that when you start to draw your retirement benefits, a portion is paid out to your ex-partner. If you receive £50,000 a year from your pension and the agreement is to split this equally, your ex-partner would receive £25,000 a year.

Joshua Gerstler, financial adviser and company director at financial advice firm The Orchard Practice, says the disadvantage of earmarking is that if you die before taking your pension, your ex-partner could receive nothing or, if the pension does not grow, less than expected. The ex-spouse has no control over where the pension assets are invested.

‘Some couples do not like this method as it keeps their finances entwined when they are looking for a clean break,’ Gerstler adds.

Pension sharing is when the court sets out what amount of your pension your ex-partner is entitled to. It is usually expressed as a percentage of the transfer value. Normally your pension provider will want your ex-partner to transfer this into their own pension.

Pension sharing gives more control to the ex-spouse than earmarking because they are able to manage the investments and choose how and when they take the benefits.

‘Once again you need to be careful as some pensions have other benefits, such as guaranteed annuity rates that could be lost on transfer, so these need to be carefully considered. Also, where the spouse is younger they will not have access to the lump sum/income until they turn 55,’ Corcoran says.

David Trenner, technical director at Intelligent Pensions, says consideration needs to be given to spouses’ differing attitudes to investment risk and their requirement for flexibility in their pensions.

‘An ex-spouse who does not want to take risks but just wants a guaranteed income could be disappointed when she finds that her ex-husband’s scheme will only allow her to transfer the value of a pension share into a personal pension where she must take investment risk as well as inflation risk and mortality risk.

‘Conversely, an ex-spouse who wants to have flexible income and be able to control the investment of their pension will be disappointed if the only option is to get a guaranteed pension from her ex-spouse’s scheme,’ he explains.

Planning ahead

It’s essential that you decide how your assets will be split before you receive your decree absolute (the court order that officially ends your marriage). On death pensions are paid to the dependant spouse, not ex-spouse, so if the main pension holder dies and an agreement hasn’t been finalised the other party could be left with nothing.

If you have life assurance or death-in-service benefits which name your ex-spouse as the beneficiary these should be updated. You should also ensure your will and/or power of attorney is up-to-date after the divorce.

Source: https://www.youinvest.co.uk/articles/sharesmagazine/92152/financial-planning-divorce