What My Parents' Divorce Taught Me About Money

You don’t generally associate “divorce” with “excellent personal finance education.”
Most children of divorced parents might argue that divorce is a terrible, emotionally unpleasant time—particularly where money is concerned.

While I agree that it can be a miserable time, emotionally and financially, I also credit my parents’ divorce with some of the most important financial lessons of my life, and for making me the financially responsible adult I am today.

The Divorce

I come from a relatively wealthy background—I grew up in a safe, affluent suburb of New York City, where I was raised by two parents with advanced degrees, and went to excellent schools with kids in similar situations. For much of my life, I didn’t have to really worry about shopping for school supplies or getting the clothes I wanted or having money to go to the movies or other incidentals. It was all given to me, just like it was given to my friends.

And then, at the age of 15, my parents got divorced. It was a messy, unpleasant period in our lives, and not worth recounting here (who wants to hear about another suburban kid whose parents fought and eventually separated?).

But as unpleasant as the experience was, I consider it one of the best things that could have happened to me—financially. While my friends were going about their youth unconcerned with material worries, suddenly I had to learn relatively quickly what it meant to have a handle on your money —and your life.

Here are the three key lessons I learned as a result.

Lesson #1: Financial Independence is Everything

Around the time I was 15, my mother made a discovery: My father had been slowly draining our family’s savings, retirement, and checking accounts. By the time my mother realized what was happening, the money was gone. My mom had thought his yearly bonuses would be going toward college for me and my sister, but not only was my dad a big spender, unbeknownst to her, he had also been buying regular tickets to visit his girlfriend in Greece. The money went fast.

Here, I witnessed firsthand one of the most important financial lessons of my life: It is essential as a woman (and for anyone in a relationship, although women are particularly vulnerable) to know where your money is, and to keep an eye on your household finances . You should never rely on someone else to manage everything for you.

Does this mean, now that I’m grown and married myself, that I regard my husband with perpetual skepticism, always under the assumption that he’s about to take the money and run? Not at all. But we both keep an eye on our joint accounts (which makes good sense for a number of reasons, including monitoring identity and credit card theft), and we both discuss how our money is being saved and spent . I also know I will always stay in the workforce, even if and when we have children.

My mother, who had a PhD and a JD, decided to stay home with my sister and me when we were young, then found a job in the Brooklyn District Attorney’s office, which eventually turned into a position as a full-time prosecutor after the divorce. As I watched her realize how difficult it would be to re-enter the workforce, I realized how important it is for women to be able to support themselves financially, regardless of circumstance. Divorce aside, in case of any kind of tragedy (death, unemployment), I want to be able to rely on myself for income.

Lesson #2: Needs Are Expensive

After the divorce, my mother was adamant that we stay in our house and school district. Her desire to make sure we weren’t totally uprooted from our lives, regardless of finances, meant that I soon had to rely on myself for all of those financial incidentals I had always received from my parents.

While my mother was concerned with getting food on the table and paying for medical care (we didn’t have health insurance—we had been on my dad’s plan and he changed jobs, and my mom was looking for work—and I ended up forgoing dentist’s visits for five years), I soon learned what all of those teenage “needs” cost, and how to budget for them.

From gas for my old Honda (a hand-me-down from my grandmother), to movie tickets for nights out with friends, I learned how much money I would need and what I could go without. I picked up more babysitting shifts than I ever had before, took summer jobs at the local Barnes & Noble and as a tutor, and managed (and saved) my own money.

There were days when I hated everything about our situation. One winter day, a pipe burst in our basement, and my mother had no idea what to do, so I called my father and figured out how to fix it. I remember thinking it was ridiculous, but it really taught me how to take control of a situation when I need to. I can fix things around the house; I’m proactive in making things happen; I’m never, ever late on a bill. It wasn’t fun, but it was certainly character-building.

Now, I don’t mind making a dollar stretch (cereal for dinner is a frequent guilty pleasure), and I know how to budget realistically . I also realized that I became more independent than many of my peers at an early age. In college, I used my own money to buy clothes or take trips, while many friends were still fully supported by their parents. Resisting spending on non-essentials early on definitely helped shape my habits as an adult.

Lesson #3: College Isn’t a Given

Even more importantly, what seemed like a tragedy—losing my college savings account—ensured that I knew the value of a college education, and taught me how to find scholarship money and financial aid. My guidance counselor worked with me to find schools that had great financial aid and vouchers so we didn’t have to pay for the SAT or ACT.

I’d always been smart, and a good student, but I definitely kicked myself into high gear after my parents’ divorce.

I’m not sure how much of that was the hyper-competitive academic environment my high school fostered, and how much was the knowledge that I’d have to do very, very well to get into the kinds of schools that would provide excellent financial aid. Either way, I started figuring out that if I wanted something, I would have to go after it, whether that was an after-school job or leadership positions at my school . I stopped being afraid to ask for what I wanted.

I ended up going to Wellesley College, which has great financial aid. During those four years, I was able to go abroad to London, intern in Washington, D.C. one summer, and intern another summer at a literary agency with a $3,000 stipend. That summer at the literary agency, I gave myself $5 for a “fun budget” every week and put any remaining money into a savings account.

Between my jobs during the school year (tutoring, babysitting, and working on campus), a few graduation gifts, and the remainders of my stipends, I graduated with $12,000 of savings—which I used to fully pay off my relatively small college debt . Now, I’m extremely proud to say I’ve saved another $10,000 in an emergency fund. (The secret to this? No fun, ever. I don’t recommend it.)

My family is in a much better place, financially and emotionally, than we were during those years during and after the divorce, and I wouldn’t wish that kind of steep financial learning curve on other teenagers.

But while divorce can seem like the worst thing to happen to a family, what we went through turned me into a more responsible adult than I might otherwise have been, and for that I’m incredibly grateful.

Source: https://www.themuse.com/advice/what-my-parents-divorce-taught-me-about-money

7 Ways to Ready Your Finances for Divorce

For some couples, no amount of marriage counseling is enough to avoid a divorce. It’s a tough process emotionally and financially.

Untangling two people’s money is messy. Long before spousal or child support is awarded or your post-divorce budget is in place, you’ll need to prepare your finances for the work ahead.

Because each divorce is unique, specific advice can only come from experts familiar with your case. However, the following tips should point you in the right direction.

1. Be wary of well-meaning advice

Divorce laws vary by state, so be cautious of advice that seems to be a one-size-fits-all solution — whether you read it online or received it from a friend. If you’re unsure whether you should move money, change accounts or make any other financial moves pre-divorce, consult with an attorney licensed in your state.

2. Track expenses — and anticipate future ones

As soon as you know divorce is inevitable, begin tracking your household income and expenses. This will not only help build a budget post-divorce, but it is also crucial for your attorney and later the judge in deciding how to split assets and debts, and whether to award spousal or child support.

If you’ve already been tracking as part of your budget, even better: You have a record of past months and years. If not, start now, and include household bills, food, clothing, entertainment, home maintenance, transportation, child care and anything else that you spend money on. Use your bank and credit card statements to estimate spending from past years. Next, project future expenses.

“Look beyond the normal monthly expenses and include things like your holiday trips, vacations and seemingly ‘one-time’ expenses like replacing the dishwasher,” says Avani Ramnani, a certified divorce financial advisor with Francis Financial in New York City. Use previous years as a guide, but remember, circumstances change. For example, if you have children, you’ll transition from spending on child care to spending on after-school activities and eventually car insurance and college tuition.

3. Gather documentation

Your financial records tell the story of your marriage’s financial health. Gathering these documents can be tedious and time-consuming, so start as early as possible.
If you and your spouse share any accounts, your financial institutions or advisors have no obligation to keep your requests confidential.

Start with:

• Checking and savings account statements (past year)
• Retirement account statements (current, if contributions haven’t changed)
• Investment account statements (past year)
• Ledgers for any loans, including your mortgage, auto loans and personal loans (past year)
• Credit card statements (past year)
• Recent pay stubs
• Lists of assets and debts brought into the marriage and those accumulated since marriage
• Income tax returns (past three years)
• The Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts offers a checklist of financial records you’ll want to prepare.

4. Prepare for resistance

“In amicable divorces, there is a free exchange of information,” Ramnani says. “However, in adversarial situations, one spouse might not release documents unless they’re legally forced to do so.” This is especially likely if one spouse controlled the household finances.
Even if relations seem cordial, anticipate rough patches. You might decrease the likelihood of confrontation by gathering the important paperwork before filing. If your spouse fights you every step of the way, ask your attorney about court-ordered options.

5. Refrain from big financial decisions

The divorce proceedings will determine all of your major financial changes. It might be tempting to get a jump on tasks like adjusting your life insurance beneficiaries — but it’s best to wait.

“Changes to beneficiaries, wills, retirement accounts, and the like will be sorted out in the (legal) proceedings,” says Caleb Ballew, divorce attorney with Martinson & Beason in Huntsville, Alabama. “If you make such changes prior to the divorce, the judge could award your spouse.”

If you’ve already filed, Ballew says, making such changes without the blessing of the court could be grounds for criminal contempt charges. Ask your attorney if you’re unsure about a particular move.

6. Be conservative when spending and saving

Separating joint finances is sticky, and much of the process depends on your state laws — some treat all income, assets and debts as if they’re part of a single pot. Emptying that pot, or even dipping into it more than usual, in the weeks and months before your divorce could be detrimental.

“There is no advantage, and perhaps a disadvantage, to being the first one to the bank,” says David Clarke, a divorce attorney with Blankingship & Keith in Washington, D.C. He recommends keeping all financial matters transparent with your spouse.

Continue to use your accounts — individual or joint — as usual. If you don’t have money set aside for hiring a divorce attorney and other related expenses, try to agree with your spouse about each spending a conservative and comparable amount, Clarke says. If your relationship isn’t amicable, ask your attorney about a legal separation, which would dictate how you both use money until the divorce is finalised.

7. Know when to get help

Whether your divorce is amicable or adversarial, a lawyer can help you sort through the separation of your lives and finances.

“Engaging a lawyer should not be seen as an act of aggression,” says Clarke, who adds that the specifics of a divorce are “too weighty to be negotiated at the kitchen table.”
In addition to your attorney, a certified divorce financial analyst can offer expertise concerning divorce’s effect on your current and future financial health.

CDFAs can help those in the midst of divorce or even just considering it. An increasing number of people contact them to ask whether a divorce is financially feasible, sometimes even before contacting an attorney, according to Carol Lee Roberts, general manager of the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts. You can also ask a CDFA to judge the merits of your divorce settlement and how to best structure it.

Roberts says though wealth might spur someone to contact a CDFA, they’re equally valuable for folks without a mountain of assets. “Even if your divorce is more about dividing debts, it’s important to talk with a financial expert,” she says.

Source: https://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/finance/7-ways-to-prepare-your-finances-for-divorce/

The Divorce Gap

There’s a common perception that women siphon off the wealth of their exes and go on to live in comfort. It’s wrong.

A 38-year-old woman living in Everett, Washington recently told me that nine years ago, she had a well-paying job, immaculate credit, substantial savings, and a happy marriage. When her first daughter was born, she and her husband decided that she would quit her job in publishing to stay home with the baby. She loved being a mother and homemaker, and when another daughter came, she gave up the idea of going back to work.

Seven years later, her husband told her to leave their house, and filed for a divorce she couldn’t afford. “He said he was tired of my medical issues, and unwilling to work on things,” she said, citing her severe rheumatoid arthritis and OCD, both of which she manages with medication. “He kicked me out of my own house, with no job and no home, and then my only recourse was to lawyer up. I’m paying them on credit.” (Some of the men and women quoted in this article have been kept anonymous because they were discussing sensitive financial matters, some of them involving ongoing legal disputes.)

“The only way to curtail the divorce-industrial complex is to create an alternative pathway to divorce that keeps courts and judges out of the process.”
“Your divorce is something you have to rely upon. You need to be able to go back to it.”

She is far from alone. Despite the common perception that women make out better than men in divorce proceedings, women who worked before, during, or after their marriages see a 20 percent decline in income when their marriages end, according to Stephen Jenkins, a professor at the London School of Economics. His research found that men, meanwhile, tend to see their incomes rise more than 30 percent post-divorce. Meanwhile, the poverty rate for separated women is 27 percent, nearly triple the figure for separated men.

Women like the mother in Washington, who leave the workforce for several years, will likely see their earnings stunted when they resume working. The main reason women suffer the brunt of divorce’s financial burdens, according to Jenkins, is that during marriage, they are more likely than men to stop working in order to raise kids. “The key differences are not between men and women, but between fathers and mothers,” he told The Guardian.

On top of that, divorce proceedings alone can pose a serious financial burden. According to Divorce Magazine, a trade publication, the cost of divorce varies wildly, from as little as $8,500 to well over $100,000. An accurate average is hard to nail down, but estimates usually fall within the range of $15,000 to $30,000. And if the split is relatively amicable, costs can sometimes be as low as $250 to $3,000, according to Lee Borden, a divorce lawyer in Alabama.

These burdens tend to fall disproportionately on women, and, in its usual way, the market has recognized that: A handful of firms have started providing loans—some of them for hundreds of thousands of dollars—to women so that they can properly argue their case in court. The loans’ interest rates can be high, but one firm estimates that applicants typically win assets worth three times the amount of their loan.

But without such outside help, many find themselves trapped, and it’s not just women who can experience divorce’s ill financial effects. Bari Weinberger, a family-law attorney working in New Jersey, says that while child support and alimony can cause hang-ups in court, it’s also the case that many people simply cannot afford what they’re ordered to pay, and end up defaulting because they are out of options. “You now have two households and one check to make ends meet. And it’s not easy,” Weinberger said. “When men come to us looking for advice on how to handle this support, we can’t create the funds that aren’t there.”
Weinberger says that because of the inevitability of alimony and child support, she advises ex-partners to make peace with paying for support before proceedings even begin. “The judge is going to order how much you pay and for how long, once you go to court, and that’s it,” she says. (If spouses choose to divorce via a settlement, she notes, they have a little more flexibility.)

And alimony and child support don’t always flow from ex-husband to ex-wife. Many men fear they’ll be ridiculed when others find out they’re receiving money from their exes, Weinberger says. Some would rather forgo their monthly stipends than swallow their pride, even if they are the stay-at-home parent bringing in no income.

Of course, the messiness of life can cause serious stress before there’s time to have a judge step in. When asked what she got out of her divorce, a mother in New Hampshire I spoke to simply says: “divorced.” Having been married to her husband for two years and having been the mother of their child, the woman found herself without any financial safety net when they split abruptly. “He would not contribute to any expenses,” she said. “He gave me 15 days to get off his cellphone plan, and expected that I wouldn't default on our rent, which was $1,600 a month. I sold my cellphone for food and got a prepaid number.”
To get out from under that debt, she needed to submit official divorce paperwork, which wasn’t cheap. “I managed to find a sympathetic lawyer to whom I still owe a ton of money,” she said. “I sold my car and all my furniture to afford the retainer. Then I prepared and filed the initial motion myself.”

Technically, though, even if this mother and people like her don’t know it, they might have access to some of their spouses’ money. Cotton says that because women are still legally married while filing for divorce, they therefore might have a legal right to their partner’s funds. “If someone calls me and says, ‘I need an attorney but I have no money,’ I remind them they’re not divorced yet, so they actually do have money,” he says. “In those cases, I file a motion asking for retaining fees and the other person’s lawyer will cut a check.”
But that route isn’t an option in every scenario. The mother in Washington suffers from several chronic illnesses and conditions, and while her health is currently on the mend, her savings have dwindled to nothing—having been used on house and condo payments, appliances, and basic necessities—since she separated from her husband. She says that when they were together, she even paid off her husband’s student loans. With shared money, they bought residences, but put them under her husband’s name. She has been left with no way of procuring income. Given her health, she said she would normally qualify for disability, but can’t because she didn’t have enough work credits in the past decade to get into the system, since she was busy as a stay-at-home mom.

Though she and her husband are not yet divorced, her spouse was ordered by a judge, after they entered a request for legal separation, to pay her $1,000 a month while the paperwork was finalized. But she says it’s not enough to live on, particularly because she still takes care of her two girls during the day. “Don’t get me wrong—I want my kids all of the time, but he uses me like free childcare. I watch the girls all day every day, but I can’t afford groceries and basic utility bills anymore. I’m really scared,” she says.

Mothers or fathers without income can make their cases to a judge, Cotton says, based on their contributions to the household. “One of the things they can say is, ‘I had these specific work skills but I took care of the child for our family, instead of going back into the workforce.’” Doing this increases the likelihood of receiving a livable amount of money from their estranged partners. Still, many spouses don’t know that, and the court system is often confusing and inaccessible to them.

And in some cases, women get manipulated by their partners. For instance, one woman was living in Missouri when she and her husband of three years divorced. While they had no children together, the woman said she agreed to unfavorable terms just to get the process over with. “I didn’t know what choices I had,” she said. “My ex scared me, and I felt I had nowhere to go. He was mentally abusive and sexually aggressive, and he threatened to drag it out in court until I lost the little savings I had left. So I cut my losses and ran.”

Why does divorce so often lead to situations like this, and is it possible that there’s another way to handle them? Bill Doherty, a professor of family social science at The University of Minnesota, argues that having the courts involved sends a cultural message that divorce is a contest—a relic of the old, fault-based system, in which people could only dissolve their marriage if they could prove their partner did something that in a judge’s opinion made cohabitation unbearable. “No-fault divorce was intended to take a lot of conflict out of the divorce process, but it has not lived up to that goal because court-based processes carry the baggage of being adversarial in nature,” Doherty says.

“The system makes a lot of money this way,” he adds. “The only way to curtail the divorce-industrial complex is to create an alternative pathway to divorce that keeps courts and judges out of the process.” Making the process of divorce cheaper certainly wouldn’t erase the post-divorce earnings disparity between men and women, but it could still help ease the shorter-term financial burdens that arise.

In that vein, Doherty helped write the Cooperative Private Divorce bill, which the Minnesota state legislature is expected to vote on during its next session, according to Doherty. The bill, if passed, would make divorce an administrative agreement, much like marriage. Under the bill, couples would have the freedom to craft their own agreements in their own language in as much or little detail as they want. Once it’s filed, they have the option to go back and amend the agreement down the line, should they see the need to. The forms will have guidelines and suggestions for language regarding property and child custody, as well as warnings to help make sure neither party is being coerced or manipulated during the agreement process. “We’ve developed a coercion self-screening tool, so that people who are likely to be coerced during the process by their partners will be steered away from this,” Doherty said.

To obtain a divorce under this bill, Doherty says, couples would first go through an online orientation educating them about the process. If they decide to go through with it, they would file an online form stating their intention to divorce. Minnesota’s Bureau of Mediation Services will have staff members to give personalized help to those who need it, but there would be no third-party or judicial review, according to Doherty, as the point of the bill is to leave the couple to come to an agreement themselves and then submit it to the BMS. After a three-month waiting period, they would file the finalized agreement and sign off on it. Then they would receive a certificate of divorce through the mail. No courts, no lawyers, no judges.

Right now, there are other options available to those who don’t want to enlist the services of lawyer. There is an option to handle it pro se, which means that each side represents himself or herself in court, filling out and filing the paperwork on his or her own, and showing up in court to arrive at a final agreement. One man I talked to from Gainesville, Florida, orchestrated his own divorce after four years of marriage in order to save on attorney fees. “I went to the courthouse on my lunch break most days. Each time, I asked the clerks questions and when they told me my lawyer had to file certain documents, I told them I was my own lawyer,” he said. “It’s not easy, but if you’re patient, you can do it.”

Doherty says the Minnesota bill is different from pro se because it prioritizes ease of use. “In pro se, people have to follow the arcane language and rules of the court system,” he said, “and the common person doesn’t have the background to do that without at least some confusion. So it gets tossed back to them because they’ve forgotten to dot some i’s or cross some t’s.”

But Cotton, the divorce lawyer in Boston, cautions that courts offer some benefits that more-streamlined divorces don’t. He says that most people who think they can part ways amicably are mistaken. Joint bank accounts, real estate, and child custody can prove to be more difficult to hash out than they seem. “One of the big problems we have in court already is that people think they can do this themselves,” he said. “By giving people an administrative option, you could be putting children at risk because people grow and evolve and change. The needs of a nine-month-old are very different from the needs of a nine-year-old and if you don’t have a contract with the courts to enforce how that child is to be raised, then you have no place to go with it.”

Another woman I interviewed, a mother and doctoral candidate living in Alabama, is discovering that what seemed to be a cheaper alternative—using mediation instead of litigation—may have only been a short-term solution. With this option, both parties sit down with a professional mediator to attempt to come to an agreement, and then bring in lawyers only to finalize that agreement and give legal advice during the process.

This can save thousands of dollars, but it only works smoothly if the parties easily arrive at an agreement. “For us, it was surprisingly easy, fast and cheap,” she says. “It cost maybe $200, all told. But the long-term ramifications have been much more difficult. Our custody agreement is very loosely defined as joint custody, but now that my ex-husband has a serious girlfriend in another state, I have to seek out a lawyer to protect my parental rights.” The woman says that in hindsight, the way she divorced simply delayed the inevitable litigation, and in the interim, she’s been stuck with what she feels is an unfair portion of living expenses.

“Mediators can sometimes make things better, but there’s no real licensing for it,” Cotton says. “There is no governing body that holds anyone to anything.” He adds that “your divorce is something you have to rely upon. You need to be able to go back to it. With a divorce, you can get in front of a judge within days if something isn’t going right. If you only have a contract, it can take six to nine months. In those months, if you need money for medication or heat or child support, you could actually die. The last thing you want is your divorce breaking on you.”

Source: https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/04/the-divorce-gap/480333/

Why Women Should Rethink Their Finances After Divorce

Your budget is likely to take a big hit when your marriage ends.

Getting a divorce stands to be as budget-breaking as it is heart-wrenching, especially for women.

"The dynamic is changing a little as more women are staying in the workforce and continuing and accelerating their careers, but typically, divorce hits women harder than men," says Nicole Mayer, a certified divorce financial analyst and partner at financial planning firm RPG Life Transition Specialists in Riverwoods, Illinois.

Indeed, marriage tends to offer some financial advantage. Married women's median weekly earnings were about 20 percent higher than those of women of other marital statuses, including never-married, divorced, separated and widowed, according to the most recent data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. They even earn 9.6 percent more than unmarried men (but 23.4 percent less than married men). After divorce, specifically, women's household income fell by 41 percent, on average, almost double the loss men experience, according to a 2012 report from the U.S. Government Accountability Office.

Why is divorce so much more detrimental for women financially?

One reason is that women overall earn less than men. Based on median weekly earnings, for every dollar men earn, women make just 82 cents, according to the BLS – and the disparity can be much greater for certain races, as well as job types. For example, in the first quarter of 2017, white men earned a median $977 a week while white women made $790 a week and black women earned just $645 a week. By job, personal financial advisors have the biggest gap, with men earning a median $1,714 a week compared with women's $953 a week.

While income inequality is a much more deeply seated cultural and societal issue, traditional gender roles play a big part of the problem, says Chris Chen, certified divorce financial analyst and CEO of Insight Financial Strategists in Waltham, Massachusetts. Specifically, the demands of caregiving, which tend to fall on women whether it's for children or aging parents, contribute to lowering lifetime earnings. Taking time away from the workforce to do the job of a caretaker means fewer hours at a paying job, which also leads to lower Social Security benefits or opportunities to save in general.

"With regard to women, the pay gap has been narrowing, but it's still there," Chen says.

And the impact of those traditional gender roles goes beyond the numbers. Women were often not in charge of their household's overall finances; money management was the husband's domain.

Here’s how to protect your money when your marriage is falling apart.

"Traditionally, women end up taking on a lot of the household duties, [which] might be paying the bills and doing some of those kinds of things," Mayer says. "But they never really handled the finances."

So divorcing your income-providing, money-managing spouse is bound to do damage to your bottom line – and force you to make a change. Taking an optimistic point of view, uncoupling presents you with an opportunity to step up your independence and flex your own financial power.

"The silver lining [to divorce] is that most women feel much more confident, much more in control of their finances after the divorce than before," says Natalie Colley, an analyst at financial planning firm Francis Financial in New York. "That's because they're finally the ones in control of their finances."

How can you get going on your fresh start?

First, you need to do an inventory of your current financial situation, including your income, expenses and assets, as well as your financial goals and future plans. And remember, much of this will be all new post-divorce.

Going from a dual-income household in marriage to a single-income household is a big change. And if your spouse was the sole or primary breadwinner, you may need to step back or up in your career. Even if you get spousal and child support, you can't rely on it for the long term, and it's better to adjust to not having that extra income sooner rather than later. "Alimony and child support are not forever," Chen says. "You have to plan for when it ends: Continue advancing your career to progress from a lower-paying job, and make sure your expenses are lined up at the right level."

On the other side of the equation, your expenses are likely to eat up more of your income. "You're really supporting, in some aspects, two households, so you feel like you're living on a lot less," Mayer says.

Looking forward, your dreams and goals are probably different now. For example, your vision of retirement might completely change from what you had been thinking with your spouse. And the path to getting there is certainly altered. "You always assumed there'd be two of you and maybe two 401(k)s and two IRAs, and that's now all changed," Mayer says. "So now it's really updating your picture as a whole, your long-term picture."

Of course, while starting over can be exciting and refreshing, it can also be daunting. Don't let that stop you from charging into making your new financial plan.

"The biggest mistake I see people make is they don't start the process immediately after divorce," Mayer says. "They wait five or 10 years – when child and spousal support stops – and then reality hits. Those first few years are really transitional years, and you have to tackle them head on."

The best way to overcome any fear you might have about taking the reins on your financial life is to get educated. Do all you can to better understand money matters in general and your own financial situation specifically. That might mean continuing to read articles like this, maybe taking free or low-cost classes on the subject or working with a financial professional. Whatever route you take, learning more about what you fear can help you realize you had nothing to fear at all.

"Once they feel they have a good handle on these things, women become much more confident and then much more aggressive in their portfolios," Colley says. "And they can lean into their financial lives even more."

Source: https://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/family-finance/articles/2017-08-14/why-women-should-rethink-their-finances-after-divorce

7 Financial Management Tips For Anyone Who Just Went Through A Divorce

A divorce is painful, that’s a given. And anybody who has gone through a divorce would admit that if there were anything that would have kept their marriages off a divorce court, they would have readily done it. Divorce obviously affects the children in the union negatively. But apart from that, it affects the couple emotionally, psychologically, mentally and of course, financially.

Yes, divorce hurts the finance and leaves too many loopholes to be filled. Everyone wants a break after a drawn out litigation battle; a break from lawyers and dates and paperwork. But there are still a few things to be done if you want to breathe easy after a divorce.

Life is never really the same after one is freshly single and there will always be those things that remind you of the good times and the bad times you had with your ex, moving on becomes a little difficult, but move on you must! So here are a few tips that could be very helpful to get you to move on while securing your finance as well:

1. Revisit Your Insurance Broker

Contact your insurance broker and update your umbrella liability coverage. Screen Your list of assets scheduled on your homeowner’s policy and screen out the things your spouse received in the divorce also screen them out if they were sold. There is no sense in paying insurance premiums for assets you do not own.

2. Apply for a new credit card

Depending on your situation, it may make sense to apply for new credit cards before you cancel joint accounts. Especially if you have marginal credit and don’t have an emergency reserve of cash.

While credit cards are generally not very good financial helpers, comparing its downsides to what can happen in the short-term if someone does not have sufficient funds to cover their core bills can make it not only desirable, but a priority. A Credit card can provide a temporary bridge fund for you while you get on your feet after a divorce.

Again, you need to make a list of the accounts you had while married, and seek to replace them as soon as possible; Savings accounts, Investment accounts etc.

3. Re-title Your Assets

If you owned any assets jointly with your spouse and that asset was retained by you or received by you in the divorce settlement then you need to re-title them. For instance if you owned your house in a trust with your spouse, you’ll want to re-title it in your name personally or in the name of a new living trust you create.

4. Get familiar with Your Investments

This will apply where your spouse handled the investing, there may now be things you own that you aren’t familiar with or that perhaps aren’t right for you.

You need to do a deep analysis of all your investments to see if it is prudent and beneficial to you financially at the present. Sell off investments that will not help you and retain those that are potentially or presently rewarding.

5. Sell Off Some Valuables and Move On

This tip is reasonable not just because it makes financial sense, but because it also helps you move on while securing your financial future. There might be a few things that you owned jointly that you may need to sell off even if they have or had sentimental value. Resources like Worthy.com makes selling off such valuables more reasonable by giving you a financial advantage.

There are also a few suggestions about what to do with your engagement ring after a divorce for instance, especially if it is the kind of ring either of the Kardashian sisters received which was worth thousands of dollars! You may need to think of selling it and moving on.

6. Consider Moving

Moving from a family house is often an emotional decision, but deciding not to move on the basis of sentiment is “...often the beginning of a very difficult situation because it costs a lot of money and the house is not liquid,” says Pilz.

Since you’ll have to pay for this home with one person’s income, if your budget’s tight, moving to a less expensive home or renting may be a good option to consider. You need to approach it as an investment asset, and you need to make decisions from that context as well

7. Get a new everything

In addition to getting a new account, you might need to make a number of other changes. Divorces can mess up your finance and you will need to re-evaluate your finances in general; what comes in and goes out and what are assets and liabilities, what taxes you now qualify to pay.

You may need to change your will, get a new filing system, and perhaps even get a new name if that will help you sleep better at night.

The point is that a divorce is a major (and sometimes devastating) life change and the earlier and faster you can get back up and on track, the better for you.

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/toby-nwazor/7-financial-management-tips-for-anyone-who-just-went-through-a-divorce_b_10373494.html

Divorce is never easy and your heart may be broken, but that doesn't mean your wallet needs to be too

From before the divorce to negotiations to post-split, follow these common sense tips for a split that is financially fair and fits your family situation

The average cost of an uncontested divorce is $1,845, but a contested divorce can cost anywhere from $6,145 to $87,974, with the average being $13,638, according to Canadian Lawyer’s 2015 legal fees survey. But this doesn’t factor in moving fees, new living expenses, the division of your assets and debts, and possibly child and spousal support.

No surprise then that to reduce money stress, nearly one quarter of divorced or separated millennials and Gen-Xers delayed their divorce because of unexpected costs, a recent TD survey found.

“I have a friend who is in for $280,000 (in legal fees),” said Dean Bergsma, an Edmonton-based divorce mediator. “It’s been going on for four or five years and it’s a complex case … But divorce does not have to be expensive.”

It’s possible, he said, to have a split that is financially fair and that fits your family situation without having to go broke. Here are 13 tips to having a money smart divorce.

BEFORE THE DIVORCE

1. Educate yourself about your finances

“With so many people, their level of financial literacy is not very high. On top of that, they may not be involved in the family finances,” said Sharon Numerow, a certified divorce financial analyst at Alberta Divorce Finances. “The less you are in the know, the less you’re equipped to make decisions, and divorce demands permanent decision making.” Start by figuring out what you and your spouse have in terms of assets and debts. Print out your financial statements. If you’re lost, consider seeking guidance from a financial adviser.

2. Make yourself a budget

How much are each of you currently making and how is that spent? Now, if you leave, how much will you need to cover rent, living expenses, vehicle costs, child-care fees or possibly child support and maybe spousal support, etc.? “The biggest challenge for couples going through divorce is now we’re going to take the same pot of money and try and support two households rather than one,” Numerow said. “A couple would need 30-per-cent more income to enjoy a similar standard of living in two households as they did when they were in the same home.”

3. Check your emotions

“There are big problems when people decide they’re going to be real jerks,” said Wendy Olson-Brodeur, president of The Financial Divorce Specialist Inc. “You can find yourself a real hard-nosed litigation lawyer and fight for every drop of blood. That is going to cost a lot of money and you just don’t know what’s going to happen at the end of it.”

4. Don’t do stupid sh*t that you’ll pay for later

For example, don’t run out and max out your credit cards or spend all your money on a trip to Vegas with the boys because you’re assuming that half of it will be covered by your soon-to-be ex, Bergsma said. “Once you start into that vortex of conflict and everybody is out to get the other person, you can’t get off the train.”

5. Consider your options for the divorce process

In a divorce, people can self-represent; they can seek help from a mediator; or they can also choose a collaborative team that may include lawyers, mediators, counsellors, child specialists and a financial analyst. In Alberta, mediation can range from $300 to $700 per hour. The hourly rate for collaboration will likely be more, because you’re paying for multiple professionals. Meanwhile, certified divorce financial analysts may charge $150 to $300 an hour. “Spend a bit of money on the process in the beginning so you’re not spending a lot of money trying to fix it later on,” said Darren Gingras, chief executive of The Common Sense Divorce. (The average cost at The Common Sense divorce is $4,500 per person for the services of a team.) The Canadian Lawyer’s Legal Fees Survey estimates that a family trial of up to five days costs an average of $35,950.

DURING NEGOTIATIONS

6. Understand how much you may pay or receive in child support

Child support is mandated by the law and is based on custody. “The more time that a child is with one parent, the other parent is more responsible financially,” said Faisal Karmali, a certified divorce financial analyst at Popowich Karmali Advisory Group CIBC Wood Gundy. In the case of a full custody situation, an Ontario resident making $60,000, would pay $546 a month in child support for one child and $892 for two children. The final amount varies as determining income can become complicated if the calculation includes dividends, bonuses, corporate income, etc.

7. Be aware that spousal support is not a given

It is negotiable. For example, you may offer to give up an asset in lieu of spousal support payments, or agree to pay for a certain period of time. “If applicable, the amount and duration is negotiable. You may offer to pay a lump sum, make periodic payments — which can be reviewed at a future time — or pay a combination of both,” said Matthew Ball, president of Fairway Divorce Solutions, a dispute resolution company.

8. When you split up, you split everything, including debt

“I’m dealing with a young gal who’d been married maybe four years and found out that her spouse has an addiction problem with gambling. The debt keeps going up and up,” Olson-Brodeur said. “The problem is that the law doesn’t necessarily protect us. She will likely be responsible, from a legal perspective, for paying half of that debt back.”

9. Be mindful when choosing your half of the pie

Half today isn’t always half tomorrow. “Let’s say I’ve got a car worth $50,000 and a pension worth $50,000,” Olson-Brodeur said. “I agree to take the car while my spouse gets the pension. Guess who’s ahead in the long run? The pension as an asset grows over time while the car keeps devaluing.” Your assets may also have tax implications, such as taxes owing when you sell profitable equities.

10. Don’t anchor yourself to your home at all costs

“Divorce the house before you divorce the spouse,” Karmali said. “I’ve seen many people, primarily woman, who’ve stayed in a house they can’t afford … They may be giving up on other cash, retirement savings, education savings and, all of a sudden, they’re left with the expenses of taking care of a home and other expenses.”

11. Consult an expert about legal and financial issues

“Don’t make assumptions about the settlement before you have your facts,” Bergsma said. “The Internet is a wonderful place to look at picture of cute kittens. It’s a lousy place to get your legal information.” For example, you may assume that you will receive half your wife’s inheritance in a divorce, but it may be excluded from the division of property if it’s been kept in her name. Or you may be surprised when an Alberta judge uses the current date to determine the value of your assets. (Ontario courts use the date of separation.) Imagine having your day in court four years after you’ve separated and finding out that half of your savings from the last few years is going to pay for the debt that your soon-to-be-ex has since accumulated.

AFTER THE DIVORCE

12. Be aware and live within your means

“Many people (think): ‘I’m 40-years-old. I’m pressing the reset button. I refuse to move into a condo. I refuse to not have my Audi,’” Bergsma said. “People make poor choices because they’re emotionally hurt and they’re doing retail therapy, just with bigger numbers.” You also want to be prepared for the unexpected: for example, what if your ex injures himself, can no longer work and therefore does not have income to pay spousal support?

13. Don’t be afraid to revisit the agreement terms

Hopefully, this is done amicably if circumstances change. Some contracts are non-negotiable, others have time provisions written in so couples can revisit terms such as spousal support. “Right from the beginning, set up roads of negotiation because then after the agreement is done, if things need to be addressed, you’ve already got a process in place,” Gingras said. “Choosing a process that is amicable is better for the kids, better for your finances and, ultimately, better for you.”

Source: http://business.financialpost.com/personal-finance/managing-wealth/divorce-is-never-easy-and-your-heart-may-be-broken-but-that-doesnt-mean-your-wallet-needs-to-be-too

7 Financial Management Tips For Anyone Who Just Went Through A Divorce

A divorce is painful, that’s a given. And anybody who has gone through a divorce would admit that if there were anything that would have kept their marriages off a divorce court, they would have readily done it. Divorce obviously affects the children in the union negatively. But apart from that, it affects the couple emotionally, psychologically, mentally and of course, financially.

Yes, divorce hurts the finance and leaves too many loopholes to be filled. Everyone wants a break after a drawn out litigation battle; a break from lawyers and dates and paperwork. But there are still a few things to be done if you want to breathe easy after a divorce.
Life is never really the same after one is freshly single and there will always be those things that remind you of the good times and the bad times you had with your ex, moving on becomes a little difficult, but move on you must! So here are a few tips that could be very helpful to get you to move on while securing your finance as well:

1. Revisit Your Insurance Broker

Contact your insurance broker and update your umbrella liability coverage. Screen Your list of assets scheduled on your homeowner’s policy and screen out the things your spouse received in the divorce also screen them out if they were sold. There is no sense in paying insurance premiums for assets you do not own.

2. Apply for a new credit card

Depending on your situation, it may make sense to apply for new credit cards before you cancel joint accounts. Especially if you have marginal credit and don’t have an emergency reserve of cash.

While credit cards are generally not very good financial helpers, comparing its downsides to what can happen in the short-term if someone does not have sufficient funds to cover their core bills can make it not only desirable, but a priority. A Credit card can provide a temporary bridge fund for you while you get on your feet after a divorce.
Again, you need to make a list of the accounts you had while married, and seek to replace them as soon as possible; Savings accounts, Investment accounts etc.

3. Re-title Your Assets

If you owned any assets jointly with your spouse and that asset was retained by you or received by you in the divorce settlement then you need to re-title them. For instance if you owned your house in a trust with your spouse, you’ll want to re-title it in your name personally or in the name of a new living trust you create.

4. Get familiar with Your Investments

This will apply where your spouse handled the investing, there may now be things you own that you aren’t familiar with or that perhaps aren’t right for you.

You need to do a deep analysis of all your investments to see if it is prudent and beneficial to you financially at the present. Sell off investments that will not help you and retain those that are potentially or presently rewarding.

5. Sell Off Some Valuables and Move On

This tip is reasonable not just because it makes financial sense, but because it also helps you move on while securing your financial future. There might be a few things that you owned jointly that you may need to sell off even if they have or had sentimental value. Resources like Worthy.com makes selling off such valuables more reasonable by giving you a financial advantage.

There are also a few suggestions about what to do with your engagement ring after a divorce for instance, especially if it is the kind of ring either of the Kardashian sisters received which was worth thousands of dollars! You may need to think of selling it and moving on.

6. Consider Moving

Moving from a family house is often an emotional decision, but deciding not to move on the basis of sentiment is “...often the beginning of a very difficult situation because it costs a lot of money and the house is not liquid,” says Pilz.

Since you’ll have to pay for this home with one person’s income, if your budget’s tight, moving to a less expensive home or renting may be a good option to consider. You need to approach it as an investment asset, and you need to make decisions from that context as well

7. Get a new everything

In addition to getting a new account, you might need to make a number of other changes. Divorces can mess up your finance and you will need to re-evaluate your finances in general; what comes in and goes out and what are assets and liabilities, what taxes you now qualify to pay.

You may need to change your will, get a new filing system, and perhaps even get a new name if that will help you sleep better at night.

The point is that a divorce is a major (and sometimes devastating) life change and the earlier and faster you can get back up and on track, the better for you.

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/toby-nwazor/7-financial-management-tips-for-anyone-who-just-went-through-a-divorce_b_10373494.html

10 Steps to Financial Recovery After a Divorce

Working as a financial planner for the past 13 years, I have learned that financial freedom often means many different things to different people.

For some, it means having no debt. For others, it means being able to live comfortably off the income generated by a nest egg.

For a new client of mine—recently divorced and facing the task of managing her finances for the first time in a decade—it means taking control. After years of deferring financial responsibilities to her now-ex-husband, financial independence is at the top of her list.

Let’s examine her step-by-step journey towards financial freedom. It’s a process that could easily apply to others who find themselves in a similar position:

1. Start Today.

No more procrastinating and no more excuses. By starting sooner rather than later, my client is able to take advantage of time and compound returns — a powerful combination for building wealth. This first step is sometimes the most difficult to take. It requires making a personal commitment to take action, but once it’s done the rest can come together more easily.

2. List Your Goals.

My client and I discussed her three top goals: (1) preparing for her retirement, (2) paying off the mortgage on her house, and (3) creating a substantial travel fund that will allow her to see the world. We ranked each of her goals in the context of her needs, wants and wishes. Identifying goals helps an individual better understand how realistic they are, and what is needed to achieve them.

3. Have a Plan.

Next, we created a formal, written financial plan that includes each of her stated objectives and an investing program, based on her income, specific to achieving each goal. After all, a goal without a plan is just a wish.

4. Automate Savings.

It’s important to pay yourself first when you save. One of the easiest ways to do this is through an automated program that helps you to save and invest consistently during both good times and bad. For my client, we set up automated withdrawals from her checking account to be directed into her investment accounts immediately following paydays, thereby minimizing the behavioral barriers and inertia often associated with manually monitoring a budget.

5. Focus on What Can Be Controlled.

Don’t get caught up in the hype of the moment or what the financial cable news programs are reporting each day. That's a recipe for making emotional, reactionary decisions. Instead of worrying about all the things outside of her control, my client decided to focus on her goals and the plan we created to help her get there.

6. Invest in Yourself.

My client saw this new chapter in her life as the perfect opportunity to invest in herself. After delaying her own education for years, she enrolled in evening courses at a local university to improve her skills, her career prospects and, ultimately, her earning potential and future savings. One of the positive outcomes of this step is that it can build up greater self-esteem and confidence. In fact, attending her first class “was such an empowering experience," my client told me.

7. Live Within Your Means.

As my client’s living situation and routines were changing drastically, so were her expenses. We took the opportunity to review and manage her budget so that her monthly expenses remained below her take-home pay. With lingering legal fees, credit cards, education expenses, and a mortgage, paying off debt requires spending less than you earn. While this was quite a lifestyle shock at first, creating responsible new spending habits and accepting how to live within her means was a priority.

8. Manage Risk.

An emergency fund that offers accessible cash reserves along with sufficient insurance coverage can protect you and your loved ones against loss or an unexpected event. For my client’s specific situation, we determined that maintaining a cash reserve to cover six months of expenses in a conservative investment account would offer her the cushion she needed for peace of mind.

9. Monitor Your Portfolio.

Given her divorce, my client’s investment portfolio and overall asset allocation needed to be updated. Other major events that could trigger review and adjustment of a financial plan include getting married, switching jobs, buying a home, dealing with a health crisis, and entering retirement. Together, we committed to regularly reviewing and updating my client’s portfolio to keep it aligned with her objectives, risk tolerance, and time horizon.

10. Get a Fresh Perspective.

Find ways to recharge your batteries. My client, for example, plans to take a monthlong trip overseas and use that break to think about what matters most. After all, that’s what financial freedom is all about.

Source: http://time.com/money/4041567/steps-financial-recovery-divorce-tips/

Seven Must-Do Steps For Women Who Want Financial Stability Post-Divorce

If you’re in the early stages of divorce, you’re probably experiencing anger, betrayal, loss, shock, numbness, confusion, panic –or a combination of them all –and it may seem like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster, feeling “up” one minute and “down” the next.

Over time, though, these emotions will begin to stabilize, as you set your sights firmly on a bright, new future as a single woman. Clearly, your life will be different. But adapting to –and even embracing –these changes will help ensure your success. For example, as a single woman you will now be in control of your personal finances. You will have to keep a careful eye on your income, expenses and debt, if you have any. You’ll have to pay your bills, save and invest for your retirement, plan for college if you have children, map out other long-term goals --and plan for the savings and investments you will need to help you achieve it all.

Naturally that list of responsibilities may seem a bit daunting at first (particularly if you weren’t very involved with the family finances while you were married), but I assure you: You can do it! Take it step-by-step, learning as you go, and it’s likely you will find –as most women do –that it’s empowering to make financial decisions and to be the one who’s in control of your financial portfolio. Of course, working with a financial advisor who has the experience and training to specifically help divorced women accomplish their goals and objectives can be extremely helpful. Careful and conservative investments coupled with living within your means are the keys to making your divorce settlement last as long as it possibly can.

What can you do to stay on the best path forward? Here are a few key steps to get you started towards financial stability post-divorce. Once your divorce settlement agreement is finalized, you will need to:

Update accounts. Even though it may sound mundane, this financial housekeeping step is absolutely essential. If you changed your name as a result of the divorce, you’ll need to get a new Social Security Card, driver's license, passport and credit cards. You’ll also need to notify your bank, utilities, insurance companies, credit card companies, the motor vehicle department, your children's school(s), etc. about any change of name and/or address. The titles on all assets, such as cars and houses, will have to be modified and recorded with mortgage companies . . . and it’s likely you’ll want to update beneficiaries on your life insurance, 401k, pensions and IRA accounts, as well.

See the checklist below for an overview of many of the accounts and policies typically needing prompt attention post-divorce.

Develop a comprehensive financial plan. If you had a Lifestyle Analysis prepared during your divorce, you should have a very clear understanding of what funds came into the marriage (income) and what funds went out (expenses). Use this as a basis for developing a budget going forward. Of course, you’ll need to keep tabs on financial matters in the short-term (What are your day-to-day expenses? How much are monthly utilities, the mortgage, car payments, etc.?), and you’ll need to establish a plan for the long-term, as well (Who is going to pay for college tuition? What do you need to save for retirement?). If your divorce settlement agreement included any lump sum payments (for alimony, pension rollovers, sale of a vacation home, etc.), you’ll also need to develop a sound strategy for management of these assets. Establishing –and then sticking to –a financial plan is essential for financial stability . . . and peace-of-mind.

Build your credit. Good credit forms the foundation of your financial portfolio and will help you secure loans in your name in the future. The first step in building good credit is to get a copy of your credit report. (AnnualCreditReport.com offers them for free.) Your current credit score is the starting point for your future, so make sure you address any inaccuracies in the report. If you are employed and/or already have credit cards in your name, the process of building your credit will be relatively straightforward. Use your credit cards regularly, pay off the balance on time each month, and you’ll watch your credit score rise. However, if you’re not employed and don’t already have a credit history in your name, the process is not as simple. New federal regulations are making it more difficult than ever for women with little or no income to establish credit on their own, so prepare yourself for the possibility that securing credit could be somewhat time-consuming and is likely to require more than simply filling out an application or making a single phone call.

Seek help from an experienced financial advisor. Even more specifically, look for a financial advisor who is trained and experienced in working with women post-divorce.

All of the fundamental components of a sound financial plan-- creating a budget, investing, planning for retirement, making sure you don’t outlive your money, understanding your goals and aspirations (travel, leave money to children, grandchildren and/or charity, etc,) saving for college, life insurance, etc. -- should be completed under the guidance of an investment professional/advisor who is very familiar with the needs and issues of divorced women.

Remember: The financial needs of a divorced woman are very different from those of a married couple and you must have an advisor who completely understands those differences and knows how to properly manage your money and invest on your behalf.

For example, just as women all over the country depend on Bedrock Divorce Advisors, LLC to help them before and during their divorce, many of these same women (and others, too) rely on our sister company, Bedrock Wealth Management, LLC, post- divorce to help them make their divorce settlements last as long as possible.

Using our many years of experience and specialized training, we assist with a wide range of financial concerns, including:

• Budgeting
• Retirement planning
• Asset protection and insurance
• Estate planning
• Investments
• College savings

Add other experienced professionals to your post-divorce team, as well. In addition to an experienced financial planner, I believe most post-divorce women can benefit from the assistance of:

• An estate-planning attorney. This type of lawyer will work in conjunction with your financial advisor to help you with your estate planning needs and the legal issues concerning your will, medical directives, trusts, charitable giving, etc.
• A therapist or counselor. A compassionate therapist will help you cope with the emotional challenges associated with starting your life as a single woman.
• A vocational counselor. Need some tips for re-entering the job market? Or, perhaps you want to start your own business? A vocational counselor can provide the guidance and know-how so you make these transitions successfully.

Check and double-check to make sure you’ve completed everything on this post-divorce “To Do” List:

1. Obtain a copy of your certified divorce decree. Make extra copies, and store them in a secure location.
2. Close any joint credit accounts.
3. Remove your husband’s name and/or change your name/address on all remaining accounts, including:

• Bank, brokerage and investment accounts
• Credit cards
• Driver’s license, automobile title, registration and insurance policies
• Employer’s records
• IRS records
• Life, health, homeowner’s and disability insurance policies
• Post office (Remember to have your mail forwarded, too.)
• Professional licenses
• Social security card
• Title to real property
• Utility bills

4. Research your health insurance options and apply for COBRA, if necessary.
5. If your divorce decree requires a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO): Provide the QDRO to appropriate banks, brokerages, pension plan advisor, 401k administrators, etc. (Even better, have this step completed before your divorce is finalized!)
a quitclaim or warranty deed: Make certain the appropriate documents are executed and recorded.
the transfer of title to property (automobiles, boats, etc.): Complete the transfer by signing and delivering the necessary documents.
6. Open a new bank account. Consider establishing direct deposit or income withholding for child support, spousal support and/or alimony payments.
7. Open a new credit card account and request a copy of your credit report.
8. Disinherit your husband. Write and execute a new will, trusts, medical directives and/or living wills and powers of attorney. Don’t forget to change the beneficiaries on your life insurance, 401k, pension and IRA accounts.
9. Establish a system to keep track of all child support made/received, alimony payments made/received, medical expenses, etc.

Enjoy your new life. Once you complete the previous six steps, you will be well on your way to establishing a secure financial foundation for your future. After all, nothing nurtures self-confidence like firm footing and a solid plan, one that offers you positive reinforcement every step along the way. You’ll learn to stick with a budget, strengthen your credit score and manage your assets. Then, you’ll be able to set new goals and achieve even more.

Source: https://www.forbes.com/sites/jefflanders/2012/07/25/seven-must-do-steps-for-women-who-want-financial-stability-post-divorce/#66de57056ec2