Monday, 4 November 2019

11 Things Divorce Lawyers Say You Should Never Do


When you're getting divorced, it can be hard to prevent anger, fear, or grief from taking hold. But keeping your cool (at least most of the time) is the best way to ensure that the proceedings go as smoothly as possible. "Divorce should be more of a business transaction than an emotional one," says Linda A. Kerns, a divorce attorney who practices in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. "The more emotional you are, the less likely you are to make reasonable, sound decisions." 


Keeping that in mind, here are 11 things divorce lawyers warn their clients against doing.



Don't expect to come away with a windfall.

"One of the biggest mistakes I see people make in divorce cases is going in with unrealistic expectations," says Chloe Wolman, JD, a lawyer with Davies Wegner Law in Los Angeles. You and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse will have to start supporting two households on the same income that used to support one—which means you won't get to keep the house and the cars and all the accounts. "If you're the breadwinner spouse, you'll probably find yourself paying child/spousal support. If you're the lower-earning spouse, be prepared to learn that support is much less than you expected," says Wolman.


Don't try to hide money.

Hiding assets in an attempt to shield them from your spouse is a bad idea. "Don't move money out of accounts once the divorce action has started," says Shaolaine Loving, an attorney based in Las Vegas. "You can be held in contempt of court and sanctioned." Plus, in some states, like California, an Automatic Temporary Restraining Order (ATRO) goes into effect as soon as you file for divorce. "It means you can't suddenly cash out your 401(k) or rack up a huge credit card debt. You can't sell the house or liquidate your accounts," says Wolman.


Don't keep adding money to a joint account.

While trying to hide money is a no-no, there's no reason to continue adding to the communal pot. If you live in a community property state (like California), you can open a separate bank account and start putting your monthly paycheck in that, says Wolman. "Under California law, once you separate, everything you earn is your own property. There are reasons why that money may not be yours free and clear, but it's smart to start establishing your life as single person early on," says Wolman.


Don't do things out of spite.

No matter how angry you are right now, setting your husband's beloved golf clubs out in the rain to rust is not a good move. You end up looking bitter and irrational, which could temper the judge's opinion, says Loving.


Don't compare divorces.

Your divorce will not be the same as your neighbor's, friend's, or cousin's. Every case is specific, and it's worth noting that the laws are different in each state. "For example, in Pennsylvania, we have a bright line rule that child support ends when a child graduates from high school. In New Jersey, we do not," explains Kerns. "So if you are in Pennsylvania, expecting a court to order child support for college-age children is a nonstarter."


Don't expect to share the pet.

"Virtually all judges will award the pet to one person," says Kerns, because in most states, pets are considered property. Who gets to keep Fluffy? The person who adopted her, takes her to the vet, and cares for her on a daily basis will likely be favoured.


Don't surprise your spouse by serving him in public.

It might seem like the next-best thing to recording your own revenge song and airing it on the radio, but it can backfire. "When a party is surprised by the divorce filing, he may take a stance to not negotiate because he was served [in a way] that may have greatly embarrassed him," says Pamela Williams Kelly, a lawyer based in Memphis. "Advance knowledge and communication can help things go smoother."


Don't fight over things you don't care about.

Aunt Elma's china collection? The boat you never use? "Things backfire when parties look at every item, every decision, as a win for one or the other," says Kelly. Instead, focus on what's important. Full custody of the kids? Getting the house that belonged to your grandma? Keep your eyes on a big prize and don't sweat the small stuff.


Don't make the kids pawns.

Divorce is hard enough on children without the parents pushing them into a tug-of-war over who they love more. "Continue to support them emotionally and financially, and love them unconditionally," says Kelly. "They will respond to the divorce only as well as the parents do."


Don't wait for your big day in court.

"Trial is very expensive, and few people end up happy when they're paying their divorce lawyer more than they will get from the divorce," says Wolman. She says you're usually better off settling out of court, especially if you don't have children or a house or haven't been married very long.

"I've seen many cases that could have been settled easily but for an overly aggressive opposing counsel who just wanted to bring in a huge paycheck," says Wolman. Avoid this problem by getting attorney recommendations from people you trust and/or thoroughly vetting anyone you're considering hiring.



Don't rule out mediators.

Although a good lawyer who moves your case along quickly shouldn't be too expensive, there's a chance you might not need an attorney at all. "It's possible to hire a mediator who helps both spouses reach and draft an agreement," says Elinor Robin, PhD, a Florida Supreme Court–certified mediator and mediation trainer. "This option works well for those who are reasonably well informed about their finances," and it can save time, money, and stress.

Source: https://www.prevention.com/sex/11-things-divorce-lawyers-say-you-should-never-do

1 comment:

  1. i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
    or
    call/whatsapp:+2349057261346










    i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
    or
    call/whatsapp:+2349057261346

    ReplyDelete