Although according to U.S. Rates and Statistics, the divorce rate has been on the decline since 1980, the fact remains that there are people out there still getting divorced. While it may not be as high as the 50 percent rate that has long become the go-to stat, no marriage is perfect which means no marriage is safe from divorce. While experts try to predict what leads to divorce as means to lessen the amount of them, in the past few years there's been a new factor: social media is a reason why people get divorced.
You may think that your little flirtations with your crush from high school are NBD, but the truth is that some partners don’t like that behavior. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or married, Facebook, and the Internet in general, can be sources of temptation and drama. According to family law firm McKinley Irvin’s new infographic, with one in three marriages ending because of an online affair, Facebook and Match.com are playing big rolls in the reason people divorce. And the problem with Facebook is that the evidence is all right there ― unless you’re smart enough to delete your tracks, of course.
From jealousy to creeping in on their partner’s social media accounts to divorce because of online behavior, here are seven ways social media is ruining your relationship.
1. More Than 10 Percent Of People Say Facebook Is A Source Of Jealousy And Danger
According to 15 percent of people, social media is absolutely dangerous to their marriage, while 16 percent can point their fingers to Facebook as causing jealousy in their relationship. The threat is so real that 14 percent of adults admit to combing through their partner’s social media accounts looking for evidence of cheating, virtual or otherwise.
2. Facebook Usage Is The One Reason Couples Fight
As the McKinley Irvin study found, it’s not just what a partner does on social media (liking every photo of their ex, maybe?), but the amount of time they spend on it. When it comes to the biggest arguments in couples about social media, the complaint is always how much time a partner wastes on it.
3. A Third Of People Keep Their Social Media Passwords From Their Partners
While marriage is supposed to be about everything, for a third of social media users, keeping their passwords private from the prying eyes of their partners is a must. The study also found that one in 10 of adults admit to hiding certain posts or message from their partners on Facebook.
4. Less Than 10 Percent Have Secret Social Media Accounts
For those who are just tired of hiding their behavior on social media from their partner, getting really sneaky is the best way to go. It’s that group, eight percent of adults, who just have a secret social media account all together. At least that way they can’t feel bad about hiding posts or changing their password every other day to really make sure their partner is clueless, right?
5. A Quarter Of Couples Fight About Facebook Weekly
Whether it’s because of Facebook usage or a partner’s behavior on it, for 25 percent of couples Facebook causes a fight at least once a week. People are fighting about it so often, that Facebook leads to confrontation in one in seven married couples, forcing the discussion of divorce to come up.
6. A Fifth Of People Doubt Their Relationship Because Of What They’ve Found On Facebook
According to the study, one in five people have found something on Facebook regarding their partner that has made them feel “uneasy” in their relationship. But despite that less than half of spouses confront their spouses about their discovery.
7. Majority Of Lawyers Use Social Media Evidence In Divorce Cases
As McKinley Irvin points out, what a partner “shares” on online can also be shared in a courtroom during a divorce case. In fact, 81 percent of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers have used social media as evidence in cases, with the top three being state of mind while being on social media, communications on it, and the time and place of said events.
Source: https://www.bustle.com/articles/100673-why-social-media-causes-divorces-and-7-ways-its-ruining-your-relationship
Playing away from home used to be a case of one affair conducted in secret.
But technology means one is no longer enough - and lawyers say an increasing number of divorce cases involve partners embroiled with as many as five others.
Such clandestine trysts can be mostly or entirely conducted online with flirty text messages, Facebook posts or even LinkedIn messages proving many an adulterer's downfall.
Multiple law firms say they have seen a rising number of such cases, with one firm's cases rising from less than 50 a year to 65 over five years.
Abigail Lowther, associate solicitor with Hall Brown Family Law, which provided the figures, said that some of her female clients discovered that their other halves had had more than five flings.
She said that infidelity was "skyrocketing" compared to other types of divorce-related behaviour.
“Some women complained about technology quite literally putting temptation at their partners’ fingertips, providing them with opportunities to establish and maintain extra-marital relationships via social media and dating websites even while they are in the same room.
“Others remarked on how an improving economy had required their spouses to spend more time on business - either with colleagues or clients - with those business dealings leading to infidelity," she said.
Joanne Edwards, partner and head of family at Forsters said she had experienced a "marked increase in infidelity as a result of technology".
"Technology puts people within messaging distance of old or new flames and means that a spouse can be cheating when sitting in the same room with their husband and wife," she said.
Others warned that such affairs are more easily discovered because of the digital footprint they leave behind.
Joanna Pratt, partner and head of family at Thomson Snell & Passmore said in some cases people have "a different telephone for each liaison".
She added: "Technology has also made it easier for illicit relationships to be uncovered – people forget to close or properly delete emails, text messages are sent or received but not deleted, and photographs can appear on Facebook which although they might appear on a totally unconnected person’s Facebook page, disclose to the whole world the nature of relationships."
But lawyers also warned that such evidence would not be enough to petition for divorce on the grounds of adultery.
"Finding suggestive or even explicit exchanges does not amount to enough proof to substantiate a claim of adultery.
“That specific allegation is the one likely to be contested, whereas the suggestion of unreasonable behaviour is generally thought by respondents to be more acceptable," added Ms Lowther.
The most recent figures from the ONS showed that 90 per cent of adults now have access to the internet.
Source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/10/21/divorce-following-multiple-affairs-rise-flirty-texts-catch-adulterers/
Every so often a topic arises which isn’t, strictly speaking, in the financial realm I usually discuss, but nevertheless has important implications for women going through financially complex divorces. Social media is one of those topics. In my practice as a Divorce Financial Strategist™, I am seeing more and more that not only can social networks and digital communications contribute to the breakup of a marriage, they can have unforeseen consequences in divorce settlement negotiations, as well.
Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and other social media and professional networking websites and smartphone applications have become an important part of how people interact in today’s culture. They’re fun and useful, and these days, they’re second nature to many of us. When something happens in our lives, we post about it to let our friends know. When something happens in our careers, we update our profiles to enhance professional connections. We’re sharing personal and professional news, triumphs and tragedies, laughs and tears . . . . and lots and lots of pictures.
Unfortunately, though, we sometimes do this without thinking through all the potential consequences. Not every “friend” is a friend. Not every connection is an ally. And many times, a message you thought was private turns out to be anything but.
Here are some of the ways that social media activity can impact your divorce proceedings:
Online activity can provide clues to hidden assets or other dirty tricks.
Married couples often have dozens of mutual friends and connections. If the marriage breaks up, obviously some of these people will be more loyal to one spouse than the other. I’ve had more than one client report a steady stream of information about her estranged husband’s financial activities, as relayed by mutual friends who were still following his Facebook updates. So, even if he’s blocked you from seeing his posts directly, your mutual friends can still tell you all about the ski trip he took to Switzerland with his girlfriend a week after claiming he couldn’t afford to pay spousal support.
Yes, we can definitely add social media activity to the list of signs that your husband may be hiding assets during divorce. Sometimes it isn’t the husband’s online activity that gives him away, but his friends’. Maybe your husband’s pals shared pictures of their trip to Vegas in his new BMW, or his girlfriend updated her Facebook status to exclaim over an expensive present, when he just pleaded in Court that he’s broke. Or maybe a college friend of his suddenly appeared in pictures with a “new” boat –one you recognize as your husband’s, and suspect that this pal is holding it for him until your divorce is finalized. If you think your husband may be hiding assets, social media activity might well bear out your suspicions.
You might also check to see what your husband is saying about himself on dating websites, compared to what he’s saying about himself in Court. Don’t assume he’s been smart enough to keep a low profile. His ego might overcome his better judgment.
Email and text messages can be admissible evidence in Court.
In addition to activity on social media and networking websites, emails and texts – the routine ways we communicate today – can sometimes be subpoenaed and gone through with a fine-tooth comb.
If your husband refers even obliquely to an impending bonus, a new job offer, or a plan to “get away from it all for a few days,” this might be evidence that he is not telling the truth on his Financial Affidavit. At the very least, it could call his credibility into serious question.
Family lawyers advise their clients not to put anything in an email, a text message, online or anywhere that they don’t want the judge to read. In the context of a divorce, if either party has shared information digitally that is at odds with what they’ve conveyed in person, or in legal documents, it can create serious problems. Lying on financial documents is a crime, and social media, email and text messages provide a potentially huge trail of evidence that can be hard to explain away.
This can all work in your favor. But remember, it all applies to you, too.
We’ve discussed ways social media can trip up your husband, but you also need to be exceedingly careful with your own online activity during divorce. Be absolutely sure you update your privacy settings on all social media accounts. Even better would be to follow this general rule:
Don’t post, Tweet, or share anything that you wouldn’t say in person to the whole world, to be remembered forever.
This infographic provides a useful guideline for online conduct during divorce.
In general, you should think of social media activity as both public and permanent. Even if you’ve deleted or hidden previous posts or photos, it is possible that someone has taken a screenshot of your page while they existed or were public, or that a cached version is still retrievable through a search engine. Even Snapchat, a picture-sharing app that’s popular because pictures shared through it “disappear” after a few seconds, is vulnerable to a quick screen shot by the photo’s recipient.
So please, remember two things about social media as you go through the divorce process: 1) It may provide very useful information about your spouse, particularly if what he says in legal documents is at odds with what he posts online, and 2) He’s hearing that exact same advice from his divorce team. If you use social media yourself, you need to exercise caution, discretion and excellent judgment.
Finally, please note that I’m not an attorney, and I don’t give legal advice. Laws about using email, texts and social media as evidence in divorce cases are notoriously convoluted, and also differ from state to state. Have a detailed discussion with your divorce attorney to find out what online information can be legally obtained and used in your case, and also how to protect your own privacy.
Source: https://www.forbes.com/sites/jefflanders/2013/08/20/how-social-media-can-affect-your-divorce/#60bae1ce35a3
About seven months ago, Billy Flynn, a divorced father of two, made national headlines when his Facebook post on co-parenting went viral.
It's been shared almost 120,000 times, and close to 220,000 people have reacted to it.
Flynn was married for 11 years before separating from his wife in 2012. Since then, he has worked to establish a new "normal" when it comes to the family dynamics.
There's no road map when it comes to divorce, especially when there are children involved. The adults hold a great deal of power, and it's easy to get caught up in the emotional component.
Flynn works as managing partner of Gadbois Audet, a firm that deals with family law, in addition to several other areas, so he sees parents "duking it out" in court and not considering the ramifications involved.
When adults focus on their negative feelings toward one another, the children take the hit.
According to Flynn's now-famous post, he agrees.
Here are his words that went viral:
"It's my ex-wife's birthday today so I got up early and brought flowers and cards and a gift over for the kids to give her and helped them make her breakfast. Per usual someone asked me why the hell I still do things for her all the time. This annoys me. So ima break it down for you all.
I'm raising two little men. The example I set for how I treat their mom is going to significantly shape how they see and treat women and affect their perception of relationships. I think even more so in my case because we are divorced. So if you aren't modeling good relationship behavior for your kids, get your (expletive) together. Rise above it and be an example. This is bigger than you.
Raise good men. Raise strong women. Please. The world needs them, now more than ever."
In the months following his post, Flynn has been inundated with comments - both positive and negative. Some have lashed out, calling his views unrealistic, while others have commended his ability to "man up" in what can be a difficult situation.
We reached out to Flynn for a more in-depth explanation of his post - and to address the criticism that he's faced as a result of putting his life in front of the world. Here's what he had to say
"I'm not advocating that everyone should or even CAN do what I do. My kids like making Mom breakfast on her birthday, so I shop for them and help them make it and leave. That's their breakfast with Mom, I'm just a facilitator. Every case is different, depending on the relationship and the boundaries you have set with your ex and their new partner, if they have one. The details of what you do aren't important. The message behind it is: You're an example. Little ones don't have the resources an adult has, but they still want to show love and appreciation for their parents. Setting aside your differences to facilitate that and set an example without negativity is the point, not making breakfast. People miss the forest for the trees on this one. Whether it's taking them shopping for a card on her birthday or helping them hand-make something on Mother's Day, you have a chance to join and encourage their affection to an important person in their life. Parents are god-like figures in a child's life.
How you act toward this important person will leave an impression right now and for their future, whether you like it or not. Kids don't need to know your resentment or interpersonal issues with your ex, that's selfish. They aren't your personal sounding board or therapist.
They are too young to comprehend the issues, but they aren't too young to sense anger and resentment and they don't know what to do with that. It's confusing. You have to set it aside.
We can pretend Santa is real for them, why can't we pretend Mom and Dad still value each other and care to treat each other with respect? It's even more important! They look to you as an example of how to behave, of how to be, of what is acceptable in relationships - and ultimately, that's the bottom line. Actions speak louder than words. It doesn't matter what the other person does or doesn't do. You can't control that. But you CAN control the behaviors and values you demonstrate for your children."
Source: http://www.9news.com/news/dad-fires-back-after-critics-slam-viral-facebook-post-on-divorce/447045507
