Tuesday, 22 May 2018

3 Things You Should Do To Overcome Sadness


“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” ~ Khalil Gibran


I was talking to a dear friend of mine recently and he was asking me who is the person I admire the most and why. The interesting thing I realized while giving him the answer was that the person I deeply admire is somebody who experienced a great deal of pain during his lifetime and what made me admire him so much was his attitude and how he always come out as a better not a bitter person from all of these challenges.

How many of us are really capable of dealing gracefully with pain, stress, anxiety, and many other negative emotions? What I want you to achieve is grace under pressure and even though it may seem like an impossible task to do, it really isn’t. There are so many other tips to share on the subject but today I will share these three things, and if you do them, believe me, your life will get better and better and you will manage to deal with life’s challenges a lot more effective and in a more graceful manner.

Just know that “the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming. ~ Helen Keller


Whether it’s you who is in sadness or somebody you love and care about, acknowledging and acting upon these 3 things will help you feel a lot better.


3 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO TO OVERCOME SADNESS


1. Let go of the pain. This too shall pass.


Things, people, events, they just come and go, nothing really lasts forever and the same with your not so happy feelings. What I usually do when I feel like my world is coming to an end, and yes, that happens to me too, it to think of a time when I was down, a time when I felt really sad and blue, a time when I felt like the whole world would come to an end, and I had no way to escape, and I use that as proof that what my mind is telling me is not always true.


It is so important to work on making your mind work for you and not against you, because you see, in order for you:

“To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.” ~ Buddha


2. Let go of resistance as best you can.


Even though it may seem that you talking about the things that are going wrong in your life will help solve the problem and make you feel better, the truth is that it will not, and just like Carl Jung said it, and I have experienced this myself so many times,

“What you resist not only persists but will grow in size.”

Do you understand why that is? Every time you insist on the pain, and every time you insist on talking about how much you are suffering, to yourself and to those people who are there to listen, you are in fact contributing to the growth of that pain, you are feeding it and you are building more and more pain on top of what already is!


Just imagine that I gave you a clean sheet of paper and I asked you to draw a very small dot on that paper, right in the center. Looking from the distance, does the dot seem significant to you? I wouldn’t think so. But what if I asked you to take a magnifying glass and move closer and closer to that dot? You will for sure feel like the dot is all there is, it will seem huge, right? The same with your pain. It’s not that big of a deal, even though right now, in this moment you might think otherwise, it really isn’t. This too shall pass.


Do you want to focus on the things that upset you and work on increasing the pain, or do you want to focus on those things that make you feel good about yourself and your life? It’s just a matter of choosing where to focus your attention, shifting your focus away from what you don’t want towards the things you do want, from unhappy to happy. It is a choice, and it’s always your choice. So chose to always focus on what you want, not what you don’t want and move in that direction.


3. Change your attitude.


If you ask me, a lot of our pain is caused because of our attitude, because of our perception on the good and the bad, because of our expectations on how things should be. When you expect something to happen and it doesn’t, how do you feel? You feel sad, depressed, you feel disappointed and you might even start telling yourself that you are a failure, that things will never go the way you want them to, that your end is near, and of course, you can add some other things to the list if you want, but that’s not really what we are after here, right? But then again, if you choose to argue over your pain, it will surely be yours.

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” ~ Thomas Jefferson
The moment you stop and look at things from a different perspective, the moment you chose to change your attitude toward life, life will start to change its attitude towards you, and from that moment things will never be the same again, because you see, just like Wayne Dyer said it,

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”


Everything changes the moment we decide to change and the whole world will start to revolve around us because you see, we do matter for the world, we matter a lot.


Source: https://www.purposefairy.com/5426/3-things-you-should-do-to-overcome-sadness/

Monday, 21 May 2018

Effective Divorce Advice for Men with Children


Divorce, no matter how smooth or difficult the process might be, it is a major change for everyone involved, and as such, it is an unknown situation with unknown outcomes. So, don’t be afraid to ask for help and guidance. Here are some of the most important things you should know about how to make the divorce as unproblematic as possible.
Understand what it means for the children


It is easy to get tangled up in the bitterness about the approaching divorce. Nothing to be ashamed of if you find yourself focused on your own feelings and worries. You’re also going through a change that you weren’t prepared for, weren’t planning on some years ago when you said your “I do”.


Yet, your children are even less prepared for it. No matter how many signs there could have been along the way, almost all children still never expect their parents to split, even when they are already in their teens. This is why it will be your responsibility as their father to learn about what the divorce means for them, and to respect their pain.


You can begin by doing some research online about what the children of divorcing parents are going through. But, it might be an even better idea to talk to a psychologist about what your children will experience, how it will affect them, how they might react, and how to make the process as smooth as possible. In all cases, you need to talk to your children, learn how to get into their shoes and try to help them resolve their doubts and fears.


Practice restraint and kindness


Yes, there are not-so-ugly divorces. Some even speak of friendly and cheerful separations. Yet, for the majority of divorcing fathers, it is a period in which the ugliest and the nastiest come to the surface, both from you and your ex-wife. It can even start resembling a war, with the sides resorting to any means necessary.


Under those circumstances, one can easily get dragged into resentment, anger, hostility, and aggression. Yet, for men with children, letting your anger go loose is not a good idea, as you’re not hurting only your wife and yourself, but also very much your children. Therefore, find a way to get in touch with your best self, and practice kindness, gentleness, and tolerance. Only in such situation will you truly help your kids adapt to the change and maintain the relationship with both of their parents.

Know your rights and obligations


Getting a divorce often means that you will now not only have your separate household to care about but also that you will have to think about alimony and child support now. The rules regarding these aspects of a divorce can be quite intricate. Then there’s the specific agreement you might have made with your ex-wife. For it all to go painlessly, you should get informed about all your obligations and possible consequences of not obeying the court’s decision.


Furthermore, if you get joint custody, it also comes with a set of both rights and obligations. And it can be quite difficult to handle. This is why you should know all about the logistics of joint custody, your children’s wishes, and your responsibilities. And most importantly, even in the most civil post-divorce relationships, joint custody can cause friction. Be sure you’re on the same page with your ex on all major aspects of how it is going to work.


Be mindful about dating


Finally, now a single man again, you will probably start thinking about dating again soon, if you haven’t already. Yet, as a father, you need to consider how this will affect your children as well. You deserve to regain your personal life, that is certain, but be sure to talk to your children about it before you embark on that path. Because you never know where the next big romance can come out of, and your children need to be prepared for another change when and if it comes.


Divorce is different for everyone. But even when it is the beginning of a new refreshed life, for men with children it is never a clean cut. Regardless of your relationship with your ex-wife, the children will always be your children, and you need to find the right path for your family, one that works for all of you the best.


Source: https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/divorce-advice-for-men-with-children/

Saturday, 19 May 2018

10 Tools for Restarting Your Life


Start small and don’t put too much pressure on yourself

For many, finding their way through the next year will feel like starting over. Not a completely horrible prospect, but the workload can be daunting. Here are some tips to help you create some new beginnings and make your life a little more emotionally fit in the process.

  1. Starting over is not the same as recouping from a failure. It is a new beginning, and you have gained experience and knowledge to help you reach your goals. Reignite your passion by imagining what it will feel like when you achieve the desired result.
  2. Moving through life is like climbing stairs. You go up a step or two, and then you level off and you may go down a step, but you are still higher than you were. That’s the process of life (and therapy) nothing is ever a straight shot. Have some patience with yourself and with your newfound direction.
  3. You can create a whole new life if you want it. You just have to approach it in the right way. Sometimes little ideas can turn into big things. Visualize a positive outcome for your issue. Medical doctors recommend visualization to patients with chronic and potentially fatal illnesses. If it can help them, it can do the same for you.
  4. Endings are not necessarily bad things. Even if you lost your job, savings or home, what comes to you in the future may be better than what you had. Sometimes the phoenix has to burn, so it can rise again.
  5. Starting over may feel scary, but it can be a cause for celebration. Think of it as exciting, and many of your anxious feelings will begin to fade. The truth is that anxiety and excitement feel exactly the same to the body. It’s our minds that make it scary versus exhilarating.
  6. Remember that your future is not governed by your past. No matter what has happened in your life, you can find a way to make things a little better for yourself, and hopefully for those around you as well.
  7. Having to start over is different from choosing to start over. For many whose lives are still in chaos because of the trying times we are in, starting over is not a choice. It can be hard to accept support from others. If you find it difficult to take that in, just promise yourself that you will return the favor and do something to “pay it forward” as soon as possible.
  8. Healthy alternatives to negative lifestyle patterns abound. If you can’t stop a bad habit, start by cutting back. It’s okay to give yourself a little time to moderate or stop something that’s hurting you.
  9. Starting over is about creating and reaching new goals. We are happiest when we’re moving toward a goal. It’s not all about the end result, in fact when you do achieve a dream you must find a new one as soon as possible in order to stay emotionally fit. Think about it this way, you can either be green and growing or ripe and rotting. Which do you prefer?
  10. Starting over is about giving yourself a chance at real happiness. You will have to be brave and get good at learning new things, but how bad can that be? At the very worst, you will acquire the skills you need to start on the next project.

Finding ways to begin anew will give you energy. The excitement of moving toward what you want will also bring you happiness. Just start small and don’t put too much pressure on yourself, you’ll get there sooner than you think.


Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201212/10-tools-restarting-your-life

Friday, 18 May 2018

Radical Acceptance


Radical Acceptance is a gift I want to offer you.

I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.
(Deuteronomy 30:19)

We are born into a world that is not of our making. We are given a place to grow up, parents, a family, a home, neighbors, teachers, friends—and an era in which we evolve. We don't get a choice in so much that really counts. Are you good looking, ugly or in the middle? Are you smart, challenged or just different? Are you tall, short—skinny, heavy—charismatic, marginalized—befriended or alone? Are your parents happy or even together? Do you have a brother or sister that you are close to - or are you bullied relentlessly? Are you born into a time of peace or a time of war, a time of impoverishment or a time of plenty, a time of faith or a time of cynicism? If you take a deep breath and look at the circumstances of your early life, you will have to see that the whole project is essentially unfair. Some people are born into riches of all kinds, while others are burdened from the very beginning.


Then you live your life. You make decisions, meet people, and navigate through school and more. We all try. It is absurd to call people lazy. But some certainly have a harder time than others. With luck, someone loved you. Someone believed in you and in turn, you began to believe in yourself. If you were a more sensitive soul, you may have been injured by the numerous selfish people that you met along the way; and they are everywhere (welcome to the human condition). Some of these wounds can last a lifetime, leaving you feeling stupid, unwanted, second best and so on. If you were what E. James Anthony called The Invulnerable Child, you were able to pull yourself up from nothing and make something of yourself: look at Presidents Clinton and Obama, two men who had weak paternal support and nonetheless, perservered. There are so many stories and your unique life is one of them.


Radical Acceptance is a gift—and I want to offer it to you. We must accept what happens to us. That doesn't mean that we like it or that it is fair. Life is not fair. If you are in the midst of a divorce, you gave up so much to make your marriage work. It didn't. If he left you, then you are probably holding a bag of resentment and hurt. If you left him, you've been grieving the loss of your marriage for some time. It is a big loss. We all want to rage at the world, or crawl into a depressed spot when we feel the injustice and randomness of our pain.
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Or perhaps you were traumatized by an accident, an illness, a corrupt business deal, a rapist, the death of a child, Mother Nature. All this happens in this world and it may happen to any of us. As we age we grow wiser as the invincibility of youth is supplanted by the vulnerability of maturity. Kids simply don't know how precious happiness really is. It is a golden moment to be celebrated and cherished. And when you have love, grab it. I often say to my patients, "Grab the good, because the bad will surely find you."


When injured by others or by circumstance, I encourage you to feel it all; the outrage, the hurt, the questioning of your Maker, the fear of what will be coming next—if anything. This is grief work and it is a necessary part of healing. It is the spiritual equivalent to the body slowly healing a bad wound. It starts off in pain, and then remains tender, and when protected and soothed, a wound eventually heals. And scars are a sign that the body did its job. Grief brings you through pain to disbelief, to anger, to "only ifs" to profound sadness, to loss - and then to acceptance. It gets triggered again and again, like tsunamis of anguish that take you over when you least expect it. But, over time grief does get worked through. The wound heals, even if imperfectly. We are left with acceptance - and I would like to argue - Radical Acceptance. It's a good thing.


There is something about the human condition in that we tend to hold onto bad memories more than good ones. We have sayings like, bad news travels ten time farther or faster than good news. It is probably evolutionary, because when survival was at stake, ancient homo sapiens had to remember where danger lurked. Their very survival depended on it. So, remembering the bad had value - but in the twenty first century, this quality provides us with too much pain and it is not worth it anymore. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a dramatic example of this biological safety mechanism gone terribly wrong.)

Radical Acceptance means that you understand that bad things do indeed happen to good people - and all the time. You can stay mired in your sense of injustice and self righteousness. You can develop an entire personality around your victimhood. But what purpose does it provide? An identity fueled by hurt and rage is a soul that is preoccupied by control and not love. You lose a second time because you become a victim of your own victimhood. And, in the worst case, you can become part of the problem. Very often, it was an injured soul or group that hurt you in the first place. A cycle of victims and oppressors does our species little good.


We must accept. Not in the classic Buddhist sense of non attachment. We should be attached. A wrong is a wrong; and it needs to be righted if possible. But we must start with the understanding that what happened to us is part of the quixotic human condition. From acceptance comes clarity - and from this place, you will be more able to make a difference. If you were married to a narcissistic man, for instance, mourn the loss that you may never have really been loved. Get over it, because you will have to coldly deal with his manipulations—and your outrage will only play into his charismatic hands. If your older sister was preferred by your father because she was beautiful and you were just smart, get over it. Let go. Radically accept your father's stupid (but human) mistake. It cost you. No question. You are angry and perhaps have a chip on your shoulder. Forgive and grieve the father that you wish you had. He was just coarsely human - like most of us. This kind of acceptance is the end stage of healthy grief - it will probably make you easier to live with - and give you much needed peace.


Radical Acceptance is an evolutionary good - if not a spiritual good as well. Most of us don't have to worry about wild beasts attacking us. We can learn from our misfortunes. We just don't want to be irreparately damaged by them. To accept means to see things clearly. It reinforces the notion not to give a second chance to someone who doesn't deserve it. You don't have to walk around feeling like a victim in order to protect yourself.

You see, acceptance doesn't mean passivity. It means freedom.


Let there be a blessing for us all to be free to see the world as it is, with its dangers—and its gifts. Grieving our losses is only a first step towards the wisdom of enjoying what is to be enjoyed. Most of us have blessings if only we permit ourselves to see them. Ironically, as we shed our expectations we become lighter and more open to every moment that we live.

Grab the good when it comes by. The bad will find you where you are.

It is the way of things.

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201201/radical-acceptance

Thursday, 17 May 2018

Emotional Divorce – What It Is and How It Occurs


Emotional divorce is a sort of a defense mechanism, or purely coping with a threat to one’s emotional well-being. It can happen before or after the legal divorce, and psychologically, it might be more important than the actual signing of the divorce papers. For the spouse who divorces themselves emotionally prior to the legal divorce, it is a sort of an introduction to the inevitable end of the marriage. And for the spouse who divorces themselves emotionally after the divorce itself, it is a sort of a closure.


Emotional divorce and falling apart of marriages


Marriages don’t just explode all the sudden. Although many divorces do seem as if an H-bomb was just dropped, their end was long approaching. And, even though the spouse who gets left behind often expresses their surprise, most often, it is not really a wonder, rather pain and fear.


Marriages fall apart for many reasons. Unfortunately, the majority of issues might have been resolved with one solution – better communication skills. Because rarely any issue is too big to handle if the two who once decided to spend their lives together just sit and respectfully and assertively talk about it, and search for solutions as a team.


Once the couple hits the roadblock and conflicts stop to get resolved, the end of the marriage becomes much more likely. But, even before that, with every hurtful remark that didn’t meet an apology, or every fight that didn’t end in reconciliation and adaptive addressing of the problem at hand, the marriage erodes.

Emotional divorce from the perspective of the walk-away spouse


For many reasons, in unhealthy or eroding marriages, there is a lot of emotional hurt. And couples deal with it in different ways. They almost always keep on trying for some time. But, without an out-and-out change of the basis of the marriage, it is usually inevitable that the spouses, or one of them, begins the emotional divorce to ease the pain and to help his or her wellbeing.


Emotional separation may occur for more than one reason. But, in essence, it is most commonly because the spouse crosses the line between tolerance for emotional stress and the need to feel well again. In other words, after a number of attempts, and a few different approaches, the walk-away spouse usually starts to regain their own individual boundaries, separated from those they shared with their spouse as a couple.


It is also usually that spouse who will initiate the divorce. They will start to be distant, sometimes even cold. They resent the other spouse’s continuous attempts to save the marriage, as they have given up on working on it. They just want the divorce to go smoothly, and after years of trying to fix the marriage, they just want their own happiness now.


Emotional divorce from the perspective of the left-behind spouse


Interestingly, although things would have been apparent to anyone from the outside of the marriage, the spouse who gets left behind is often in shock when the walk-away spouse requests a divorce. This is because they weren’t ready for the emotional divorce yet, they wanted to keep trying to mend the marriage.


The spouse who gets left behind usually still searches for ways to save the marriage, although at that point it becomes impossible. So, they become clingy, often beg for another chance, and their panicky behavior gradually becomes more and more intense. This sometimes reaches the point of rather odd behavior, such as stalking, threatening, harassing, etc.


The left-behind spouse usually goes through severe levels of anxiety over how their future alone will look like. Being single again might sound like a hell on Earth. This is why most of the left-behind spouses try to find a way to postpone the divorce, to stall because they are still hoping that the walk-away spouse will have a change of heart.

What it is that you can do if left behind


If you found yourself in the second position, there are a few things you can (and must) do. First of all, you have to accept the reality. Your spouse has decided, and they decided upon long and careful deliberation. What you need to do now is to accept their decision. It is no longer in your power to fix the marriage, but you can improve the relationship between the new roles of ex-spouses.


The second important thing to work on at this stage is regaining control over your emotions. You cannot push your spouse back to loving you and back to marriage. But you can control your own emotions and reactions, and regain balance for yourself. By accepting the reality, you will begin to heal.


Source: https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/emotional-divorce-what-it-is-and-how-it-occurs/

Wednesday, 16 May 2018

How Overcoming Adversity Can Shape You Into A Better Person


Although life isn’t easy, whether it’s been good or bad, everything is a part of the journey.
These are the experiences and lessons that we are to draw strength from and build upon to help us in our future. There isn’t a handbook warning us of the plight and pain we will face, but there is a solution.

The solution is this: work to overcome adversity instead of falling prey to them.
I know what you’re thinking: sounds easy, but how do you do it?


My Experience Overcoming Adversity


Three years ago, my life was wonderful. My children brought a light to my life that could never burn out and my marriage carried as much joy as one possibly could have. I had forgiven the people that caused the painful situations in my childhood and let it all go. I spent my time inspiring others to do the same so they could focus on what was important.

And then, things changed. I was diagnosed with multiple brain aneurysms and my life changed forever, for the better.


I’ve definitely had my share of experience overcoming adversity. When I encountered a new situation that seemed completely devastating, I began to reflect on the strength that was born inside of me out of the very pain I was experiencing.


There came a point when I accepted a fact of life: that just because you experience trauma, pain, and negative situations that leave a deep scar across your heart, doesn’t mean they should hold you back. After all, there will be more hurdles to jump. It’s how you decide to handle it that will make the difference in your future.


But how do you reframe the way you handle difficulties in life? There are steps you can take so that overcoming obstacles can be possible for you.


Tips On Overcoming Adversity


1. Have faith in yourself

Faith is required when overcoming adversity. Believe you can by telling yourself, “I am going to overcome this.” Your state of mind is more important than the situation, because that is where courage, strength, and miracles are born.


2. Know you have nothing to lose
Faith is powerful when you truly believe – so believe, as you have nothing to lose except worry, fear, and things you can’t control. You just need to get over this hurdle.

3. Remember: this isn’t the end
Understand that whatever you are faced with is a part of life’s experiences, and it won’t be the first nor last. Use it to cultivate a stronger version of you.


The Takeaway
I didn’t know about all of the challenges I had awaiting me, but I wasn’t afraid to face them or fight. Overcoming adversity can give you even more faith, strength, courage and a desire to make your life count. Let your obstacles give you yet another reason to appreciate your life, along with everything in it.


Source: https://inspiyr.com/strength-courage-overcoming-adversity/

Tuesday, 15 May 2018

Life After Divorce


“I want a divorce”.


There are few things more devastating to hear in a marriage. Knowing that your partner wants you to split up is painful, shocking, and can make you feel like nothing will ever be the same again.


And quite honestly, it’s true. Things won’t be the same, but that doesn’t mean they have to be terrible. Divorce is difficult, and painful, but the end of the road can be filled with new opportunities and a new life that you truly enjoy.


If you’re facing a divorce or have recently gone through one, take heart. These simple tips will help you get back on your feet, and find a healthy way to start over.


Let yourself grieve


You can get through divorce and feel happy again, but you’re not going to feel good straight away. The end of a marriage is one of the most challenging things you can face, and it’s natural to feel the whole gamut of emotions from rage to heartbreak to denial. So let yourself feel them.


It’s okay to take some time out to recover from the pain of divorce. You will feel better – but don’t expect to feel fine by next week. Give yourself time and be patient with yourself.


Get some support


A good support network is an absolute must if you’re going through a divorce. Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends or close family members and talk to them about what you’re going through. You might even consider getting a therapist to help you work through the more difficult emotions and set you on the path to healing.


One word of caution though – if you have kids, don’t let them become your support network. That’s not their role, and will only put undue stress on them. Ditto close mutual friends of you and your ex. Don’t make them feel like they have to choose sides.


Rediscover who you are


Chances are you gave up some of your goals or hobbies when you got married. All marriage is a compromise. While that’s absolutely part of a healthy marriage, it’s also true that rediscovering the things you gave up can help you heal after a divorce.


Did you love going out but your partner loved staying in? Did you love a certain movie or music genre that made their skin crawl? Was there a hobby you let slip away when you got married? Now is the perfect opportunity to revisit the things you used to love.

Let go of your ex


There is one thing you used to love (or perhaps still love) that you should never revisit though, and that’s your ex. Of course, if you have children you will need to work on a healthy co-parenting relationship. However, outside of childcare, try not to get too involved in your ex’s new life. It will only hurt you and make it harder to move on.


It’s also time to accept that things aren’t going to change. Whether you wish they’d change a certain behavior, or you’re wishing you could have one more try, it’s time to let go. It hurts now, but in the long run you’ll be much happier as a result.


Embrace change


There’s no two ways about it – everything changes after a divorce. You’ll be living alone for the first time in a long time, and possibly living in a new place, too. Your relationship status has changed. Even the way you parent or the hours you work could change.


The more you can embrace these changes, the easier it will be to build a good life for yourself post divorce. Instead of resisting change, try to embrace it. Take the opportunity to try out things you’d always meant to try. Visit that place you’ve always wanted to go, or try out a new hobby. Make change your friend and enjoy exploring your new life.


Take charge of your finances


Divorce often heralds a change in your financial life. After all, you’ve probably been pooling your resources and living as a two-income household for a while now. Divorce can be a financial shock, especially if you weren’t very involved in money management.


Taking charge of your finances as soon as you can will help you feel in control and able to plan for your future. Take a seminar or online course, or invest in some books or money management tools. Simply reading a few financial blogs will help. Do everything you can to keep yourself in the green and plan how to manage your money.


Enjoy being single

There’s always the temptation to throw yourself into a new relationship after a divorce. Adjusting to who you are without your partner takes time, though, and some time spent enjoying being single first will do you good.


Use this time to really get to know yourself and figure out what you want from life. Instead of pouring your energy into a new relationship, pour it into yourself. You’re your main priority right now, and dating will only complicate the healing process. Look after yourself first so that when you do get back into the dating game, you’ll know what you want out of it.


Divorce is a painful process, but it can eventually lead you into a better relationship with yourself and your life. Take care of yourself, be gentle as you go through the mourning process, and when you’re ready step out and embrace your new life.


Source: https://www.marriage.com/advice/divorce/life-after-divorce/